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This article about the new record by The Knife begins with you talking about how clever you are in rooting out Fugazi references, and how you think this Fugazi reference is more unexpected than another recent Fugazi reference you noticed. I don’t care about you.
Why does an article about music start with the author talking about himself and some bar scene he imagined existed at the college where he didn’t bother to learn anything about writing or journalism?
Stereogum: All Pointless Lists, All Pointless
You make it one full sentence before you begin talking about yourself.
Shit list. Have some dignity.
“A week ago, I was frantically writing a Lil Wayne obituary in my head, frantically refreshing TMZ on my phone while attempting to enjoy the amazing and random-as-fuck Usher/Afghan Whigs set at SXSW.”
In the very first sentence, on the fourth word, you immediately start talking about yourself.
What’s the point?
Lazy writing.
Don’t worry, “The Pointless Page-View Grab Countdown List with High School Level Copy” trophy is awarded to several stereogum contributors.
Yeah, it turns out there isn’t much thought or genuine critical ability brought to bear on these lists, they’re just cheap page view grabs.
It was a daring gambit to generate page views.
Finally, a feature that focuses on pointless editorializing and personal reflection.
Just link the song, fuck. What are these pointless walls of text?
Agreed.
“The most haunting moment was when Kanye held his head up, like he was praying or something, enacting a scene where he’d be begging a corporation for money, shining some light on how fucking crazy insane and scary it is that artists are so dependent on corporate checks.”
… like he was praying or something.
Please hold your comment for the Odd Future best-to-worst post.
“Beyoncé’s “I Miss You” is one of those records that just absolutely tears at the fabric of heartache and vulnerability.”
What?
When a writer calls a band “unique,” it usually just stems from laziness. But when it comes to the unpredictable and inventive duo of Buke & Gase, “unique” is a truly apt descriptor.
Stereogum writers now really excel at inserting their self-centered selves into their copy, even if only to announce their complete ignorance on the topic at hand.
Shill much?
My point is these lists are always shit, because they’re subjective from the start and only meant to stir up page views. They’re indefensible and shit on principle alone, nevermind if the list is “good” or not, and Stereogum is suddenly in the habit of making tons of shit lists.
And for this “if you don’t like it … don’t read it,” fuck off — I’ve been reading Stereogum for years and I have every right to share an opinion that I think the editorial content has dropped off a cliff.
“I started jogging not long ago.” Oh neat! This must a really good Outkast song.
I try not to make a stink about it because I think I’m in the minority, but these lists are shit and there are too many of them, and I remember a day when Stereogum had a “Shit List” header for other site lists because these lists are always shit. Also, I say the editorial content has lost quality where it’s gained quantity (7 paragraph header? That’s high school-level burying the lede). Maybe there’s a merger with Pitchfork on the horizon.
But again, I mostly keep it to myself because hey things change.
Obstacle 1: Deez Nutz
The fact that you cite then openly refuse to link to an article by a music critic expressing his criticism — writing him off as “grandly clueless” and expecting us to take your word for it — already puts you in a pretty indefensible position. With the wave of shootings there’s going to be a lot of hand-wringing and moral tsk-tsking around this sort of thing, but that doesn’t having a discussion of violence in popular culture wrong.
Assuming his moral preaching is why you didn’t provide a link, and not just because you disagree with his opinion: “Chief Keef is a thick-tongued, mush-mouthed rapper with little grace and stilted flow who stumbles through generic, unimaginative, frequently plodding and numbingly repetitive backing tracks bragging with little imagination and forced conviction about his bad-ass self and utter disregard for anyone else in the universe.”
That’s a pretty long facebook status update.
Very meaningful list.