Craftwerk: The 10 Weirdest Joy Division Items On Etsy
Craftwerk is a new recurring feature on Stereogum, in which we’ll unearth some of the oddest, most unlikely indie-rock-related fan-created crafts on the web. The first installment of this franchise was published last November, in a story listing the 10 Weirdest Radiohead Items On Etsy. Today, the the series kicks off in earnest, with 10 bizarre homemade tributes to the great Joy Division, all available for purchase on Etsy.
Etsy, you bring us such wondrous gifts. Unlicensed merchandise for classic bands? Check. Creations of such unfathomable weirdness they must be seen and shared to be believed? Oh yeah.
I wonder what the ghost of Ian Curtis would think, if ghosts were real, and if he could see the incredibly weird arts and crafts some creative fans have crafted in his image. Would he beat his incorporeal fists against the walls of his spectral prison? Would he pause to admire the devotion and hard work inspired by the art he created in his short, troubled life? Hard to say, but I like to think our pre-goth poet laureate had a healthy sense of humor. I pray you do as well, as you proceed into the depths of the indescribably odd merchandise that will appear on this list: These are the 10 weirdest Joy Division items I could find on Etsy.
If the goal of this piece of wearable art was to make me irrepressibly sad every time I look upon it -- which probably isn't that much of a stretch -- the artist hath succeeded admirably.
A masterpiece of subtlety, inference, and stretching the limits of band-derived art, here we have a literal interpretation of a fan-adopted description of Ian's dancing. Personally, I always thought he looked more like a spastic automaton than a trapped butterfly, but that's just splitting hairs. This butterfly is trapped, sort of, because it has lead weights tied to its wings, which must make flying difficult. Those little metal-tipped things are sewing pins. Imagine how long this took to make.
Goth is the color of my true love's heart, clearly, if she's wearing one of these. Condensing the iconic design of Unknown Pleasures into a curio ring actually isn't a bad idea: there's something nice about a shrunken visual representation of a pulsar star's spectral emissions squeezed into a relatively affordable hunk of metal. So much weighty cosmic significance for such a little doodad, and you can wear it anywhere your discontented heart should take you.
I suppose Ian Curtis' graveside trash might be worth documenting. After all, one can never have too many pictures of dead flowers, wadded-up tissues, and clove cigarette butts.
This won't come as a surprise given my inclinations but I would wear the shit out of that.
Ever wish you had a Microsoft Paint-style rendition of Joy Division where they kinda look like Radiohead? You sure? For a second I wondered if Bernard Sumner's arm cuts off as some kind of metaphorical commentary on New Order – I mean, he is smiling – but I sincerely doubt it.
Bootlegs are weird, man. A bootleg of a live show I get. A collection of rare demos, sure. This one mixes studio tracks (why?) with live and radio sessions, then intercuts them with interview clips … that fall between every single track of music. Imagine how much fun this would be on repeat.
Again with the butterflies. Seemingly inspired by -- or at least named after -- a lyric from the stone-cold classic "Atmosphere," we get a nifty hand-drawn cut-out hand, some furniture tacks, brocaded wallpaper, and "other paper ephemera." Call me crazy: I sense a disconnect between Joy Division's actual aesthetic and that of their fans.
The undisputed king of bad jokes, this masterpiece of morbidity and questionable taste makes for an essential purchase as far as I'm concerned (xmas gifts for the whole family!). If inverting that classic cute cat poster weren't nefarious enough, the border is made out of … rope. Created by none other than legendary former music blogger Ultragrrrl, it is a design for the ages. In her own words: "This is a design I came up with one day when I was feeling sad."
