Be straight with me: Is Morrissey okay? Like, is there some method to his madness? Is he just having a laugh here? Is he getting back at us for repeatedly inquiring about the possibility of a Smiths reunion even though he’s made it perfectly clear that’s not happening? Because I’m starting to wonder about the frequency and content of his cultural contributions these days! Claire thinks he should do a song with Kanye, and frankly, that may be the only thing that even makes sense at this point. What now, you ask? More like, what not now. But more specifically: The Hollywood Reporter has published an interview with Moz, which included the following exchange:

The Hollywood Reporter: Why do you think Staples agreed to go vegetarian for you and not Paul McCartney?

Morrissey: I was amused to hear that Sir Paul McCartload was very angry that Staples had said yes to me but no to him, when really, he should be happy for any victory on behalf of the animals. I know he works tirelessly for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals [PETA], but he also loves the British royals, whose treatment of animals is abysmal. The Queen herself wears enough fur to blanket most of Russia. He also once sang “Give Ireland back to the Irish,” which was directed at the Queen. Well, she refused, and she still refuses, yet Sir Paul gives her the thumbs up! If he cared passionately about animals, he’d return his knighthood. He doesn’t need the Queen’s approval. He’s given more pleasure to people worldwide than she could ever dream of.

I mean, that’s a bit of a rant! Especially considering Macca is basically on Morrissey’s side in the animal-rights department, which is what all this is about, is it not? I dunno. I don’t really understand how the monarchy works. But that’s not even the point! The point is this: The question asked was, Why do you think Staples agreed to go vegetarian for you and not Paul McCartney? Which, (A) Morrissey never even sort of answered or in fact addressed that question; (B) when did it come out the McCartney was “very angry” about the Staples Center’s agreement to go vegetarian for Morrissey?; and (C) when did the Staples Center agree to go vegetarian for Morrissey? (And I don’t even like McCartney!) I guess the question was inherently flawed because it was based on some bad intel but still. Yeesh.

Moz is perhaps redeemed somewhat by his answer to the interviewer’s closing question, “Is there anything else you think the readers of The Hollywood Reporter should know?”

Morrissey: I’d like people to be aware of the pangs of childbirth, and that every male is not necessarily a man. But perhaps these are topics for another time.

Indeed! Tomorrow, perhaps?