If Katy Perry’s rider is any indication, you don’t get hired to perform at the Super Bowl by being down-to-earth and easy going. Big stars who do big shows have big demands. While there’s nothing too odd in her food and supplies requests, she’s a stickler for a certain ambience, and to that effect requires her dressing room to be draped in either cream or soft pink, and loaded down with flowers, specifically white and purple hydrangeas, pink and white roses, and peonies. And if those aren’t available, you boorish simpleton, then she guesses you can go with seasonal flowers that include white orchids. However, don’t even think about using carnations, which she strictly forbids. The last thing she wants to see is carnations when she’s relaxing on one of two required cream-colored egg chairs (only one footstool, though) and basking in the light of two French ornate style floor lamps. Also, how would she know what was inside her refrigerator unless it had a glass door? She wouldn’t, obviously.

But none of this compares to the list of demands pertaining to her driver, who must not speak to or interact with Perry in any way. Likewise, the driver shouldn’t really speak to anyone else either, so they can leave their cell phone turned off. And let’s go ahead and cross talking to clients, guests, or fans off the list too. You know, maybe the driver just shouldn’t talk at all. And instead of staring at Ms. Perry in the rearview mirror, the driver should keep his eyes on the road and watch out for pedestrians. She also insists the driver let security handle such tasks as door opening and luggage handling, and that staying behind the steering wheel is a must. The list goes on to include instructions about how fast to drive, which lane to stay in, and where to park.

One of the shiftiest sections of her rider, though, is a paragraph of very legal language that basically says if the venue uses ticket resellers (such as StubHub, the example included in the rider), that they should hold back a certain amount of tickets for those resellers and that Perry and her team will take the money made from their sale. In other words, if possible, Perry wants to scalp her own tickets at potentially inflated prices. Shame on you, Katy! What would the right shark think of that move? It’s safe to assume the left shark wouldn’t care, as he’s not paying attention anyway.

See the full rider here.