If we are all allowed to have the exact wedding ceremony that we want, which, based on this video of the wedding ceremony of Adam Bohn — the CEO of Artix Entertainment and creator of AdventureQuest Worlds — that features ten minutes of different villains fighting him for his wife’s hand in marriage while he and his groomsmen wear armor over their tuxedos, seems to be at least a possibility for some, this is the one that I want: my future husband and I eat a nice dinner alone with nobody except for the other strangers at the restaurant, we tell each other we do, and then go on a month-long honeymoon. It all counts as the ceremony. Then we go on another honeymoon for the honeymoon. Does that make sense? So it’s dinner + honeymoon, and then a honeymoon. We don’t have to talk to anybody but they can still send gifts if they want to, and we will send them a thank you note with a photo of us in our dinner outfits (wedding dress and tuxedo). IF WE ALL CAN GET EXACTLY WHATEVER WEIRD SHIT WE WANT AND EVERYONE ELSE JUST HAS TO DEAL WITH IT, THAT IS WHAT I WANT! THIS IS THE PRECEDENT YOU HAVE SET, ADAM BOHN!

Hahaha, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It seems sexist and condescending to say something like “what an incredibly understanding wife,” as if she is not into whatever this is, because she very well may be, and maybe they planned it together and were equally excited about it, and maybe it was her dream since she was a little girl to have Iron Man interrupt her wedding and ask her to join S.H.I.E.L.D., but, ah, eeeehhhhhh, eeek…what…an incredibly understanding wife! I COULDN’T NOT SAY IT, IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S TRUE! (Via Kotaku.)