I sort of remember looking up professor reviews on the website “RateMyProfessors” when I was in college (to see whether or not professors were CHILL) but I definitely remember that professors did not like that website. Weird how they wouldn’t like a site that gave temperamental students the ability to trash the way they did their job, part of which was grading those students. UGH, TEACHERS. (Apparently mtvU acquired the site in 2007 and now professors can film video responses to bad ratings? Eeeek!) (Don’t do that, professors!) Anyway, Celebitchy looked up some reviews of NYU professor James Franco on RateMyProfessors, and they are A++++ very perfect:

•  “Amazing class because we got to make a feature film with A list talent. But James seems sleepy and distracted and doesn’t give feedback because he doesn’t read our writing. The concept for the class is great. But James is a joke of a professor.”
•  “James is a nice guy, but he’s a really terrible professor. He never grades the papers on time because he is always asleep in class. I once got an F on a test because I wouldn’t share my meatball sub with him. Our improv lessons sucked because he wanted us to be the Green Goblin and chase him around the room. Do not take this class — he reeks of weed.”

Hahaha. Obviously who knows if this is true. Even if you aren’t a James Franco and you’re teaching a class, I’m sure you get some stray lies in your Professor Yelp reviews. “Ms. Junebug hated my blouse so she told me my ‘Yellow Wallpaper’ essay was ‘scattered.’ Just because she hated my blouse!!!” Right? But I will say that I love these reviews so much and I HOPE that they are true. Fingers crossed that he wanted everybody to be the Green Goblin in improv class, ahahaaha. Meatball sub! But clearly there is a chance that they — at the very least, one of the two options we read — might not be completely true. So why should NYU students get to have all of the RateMyProfessors fun with James Franco? WE DESERVE TO HAVE FUN, TOO! 

• James Franco is nice and seems well-intentioned, but he is literally always asleep, 100% of the time. We walk into class and he is asleep, but always has an alarm set for when class is over? Not sure if he is actually asleep — classmates have tried to wake him on multiple occasions and haven’t been able to.
• It’s cool to be able to say, you know, “I’m taking a class with Professor James Franco,” but not worth it. He farts on every essay and hands it right back to you and then says, “You got an F, for fart.”
• Wait, is James Franco the name of a dog? I know that James Franco is a human actor, but is there also, like, a famous dog named James Franco? The professor for this class is a dog with a hat and glasses. Just wondering if he’s “somebody” or if he’s just a normal dog.
• James Franco is very nice and I hate to post a negative review, but he told us that he was edible and that if we wanted to pass the class we had to eat him? Not sexual — someone did it and he was literally edible. (Marzipan?) So, not the real James Franco — just some sort of food human.
• James Franco draws a penis on the chalkboard every day and spends the rest of the time laughing, very easy class — definitely take.

I FEEL LIKE A STUDENT AGAIN!