You’re reminded of life’s uncertainty daily — the train doesn’t run on its normal route, your friend announces that she is leaving your city for a city across the country, the government is just straight up shut down forever. The world can pull the rug out from under you, and does so frequently, but the falls never really get easier to handle. At least that’s how it feels this morning. After about a month of resting easy with the knowledge that Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam would be the one to bring Christian Grey to life in the film version of the Twilight fan sex fiction novel Fifty Shades of Grey, it looks like we will all have to return to our angry-faced, sleepless tossing and turning. Does Billy Corgan have some sort of crystal ball or something?! From EW:

Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam will no longer play Christian Grey in the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey. According to a statement from the studios behind the film, “The filmmakers of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY and Charlie Hunnam have agreed to find another male lead given Hunnam’s immersive TV schedule which is not allowing him time to adequately prepare for the role of Christian Grey.” …

Fifty Shades of Grey author E L James responded briefly on Twitter: “I wish Charlie all the best. x,” she wrote. (It’s unclear whether her tweet 17 minutes before that one was related: “Okay girls and boys – hold on to your hats – it’s about to get serious…”)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Or: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Lots of fans were upset that Charlie Hunnam was cast in the role of Mr. Grey because, uh, I don’t know why. Charlie Hunnam looks nothing like the handsome stranger they see at the grocery store sometimes who bears a striking resemblance to how they imagined Christian Grey, maybe? Who knows. All I know is that 1. The world is a vampire (you can’t repeat it enough), 2. Life is garbage, 3. How much more does God think we can handle? 4. Charlie Hunnam looks like Spencer Pratt in this photo, 5. We have to immediately return to figuring out who should take on the role of Christian Grey. Just like in Greek mythology, how the blogger Sisyphus was forced to forever think of actors who could play a role he knew nothing about from a book he never read for a movie adaptation that he would never see. Greek mythology is Twilight. What? I don’t know! Should Spencer Pratt just play him?!