Warner Brothers and J.K. Rowling have announced a series of spin-off feature films based on Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Are you excited about it? I am very overwhelmed by it, both because I have no grasp on the Harry Potter series and don’t know how to talk about it, and because it now feels like these films could go on for infinity and it is hard to wrap my mind around the idea of infinity/the idea that there will be no end to films that take place within the Harry Potter universe. Is anyone else short of breath? Like your chest is caving in, kind of? Are we falling, or is the whole world falling? Why is it getting so dark?! From the press release:

Warner Bros. Entertainment today announced an expanded creative partnership with world-renowned, best-selling author J.K. Rowling. At the center of the partnership is a new film series from Rowling’s world of witches and wizards, inspired by Harry Potter’s Hogwarts textbook “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” and the adventures of the book’s fictitious author, Newt Scamander. The announcement was made by Kevin Tsujihara, Chief Executive Officer, Warner Bros. Entertainment.

“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” will be an original story and will mark Rowling’s screenwriting debut. It is planned as the first picture in a new film series. Set in the wizarding world, the story will feature magical creatures and characters, some of which will be familiar to devoted Harry Potter fans.

J.K. Rowling explained her position a bit further, as well, and if I weren’t deep within the Earth without the ability to move my arms or use my eyes I’d be able to read it, but oh well! You can read it yourself, unless you’re down here with me:

“It all started when Warner Bros. came to me with the suggestion of turning ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ into a film. I thought it was a fun idea, but the idea of seeing Newt Scamander, the supposed author of ‘Fantastic Beasts,’ realized by another writer was difficult. Having lived for so long in my fictional universe, I feel very protective of it and I already knew a lot about Newt. As hard-core Harry Potter fans will know, I liked him so much that I even married his grandson, Rolf, to one of my favourite characters from the Harry Potter series, Luna Lovegood.”

Jesus Christ, is there no end to the knowledge one could have about Harry Potter?! “As fans of the series will know, in the prequel to Rolf’s universe the Slither Toads refused to share magic with anyone but the Wombzers, but Mr. Tidde put a stop to that in the Brave War of Beasts, though he was once a Slither Toad himself, and was banished to the Cave of Time, where the Timey Crawl Universe is found — and there, of course, is where one of my favorite characters, Ms. Penelope Punch was born, and in her early life–” etc. TOO MUCH, I CANNOT BREATHE WITH ALL OF IT. But what about you? Are you psyched? Still have your full range of motion/field of vision? (You can read the full press release here.)