Hey! Remember Samy and Amy from Amy’s Baking Company, the Scottsdale Arizona restaurant that was lovingly featured on Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares in the spring? I wonder what is up with them! From the DailyMailUK:

Amy, 40 – who insists that THEY stopped the filming – told MailOnline: ‘Physically, this has taken a huge toll on me.’

She said the couple have been forced to call the police and make reports to the FBI, adding: ‘Over the past couple of months, we’ve gone from being completely unknown to having people call us at 3am saying they’re going to break into our house with a rifle, rape me and kill my husband.

‘It’s happened hundreds of times, with people just screaming down the phone at us. The phone is still off the hook at the restaurant.

‘God is giving us the strength to get through it, we’re fighters and survivors – and we have our cats! We’re dedicated to showing everyone who is still unwilling to accept the truth that we don’t poison the food, we don’t assault employees and customers – and we don’t steal our servers tips.’

They are also living under the shadow that Samy will be deported back to Israel by Homeland Security after serving 15 years in prison for drugs trafficking in Germany and France.

Oh, OK! So everything is going great for these guys! Yeesh. Look, everybody, that episode of Kitchen Nightmares was hilarious, and the resulting Facebook meltdown was legendary. What if we just left it at that? What if we took all of the entertainment value that we received from the exploitation of these two Looney Toons’s odd lives and left it at just that: entertainment. What if, and I’m just spitballing here, but what if people DIDN’T decide to mix it up with physical threats? (For as delusional as Amy seems on television and on the Internet, I am sure she’s telling some version of the truth here. People are truly awful!) Just a thought. Oh well. We can all dream can’t we? Speaking of dreamers, there’s more catchin’ up to do with Samy and Amy! Here:

On the verge of tears, Amy insisted: ‘My husband is a gentleman, he would never let a woman pay for anything if she was with him, he would rather cut his balls off than take money from any waitress or servers.

‘We never had a complaint in six years and we never took money from our servers.’

Her husband Samy, 63, agreed: ‘They showed us as delusional. We would never have agreed to go on the show knowing they could do this. Gordon said ours was the cleanest kitchen he had ever seen.’

Following their TV appearance, the stern contract that Amy and Samy ask staff to sign was leaked online – showing a long list of rules imposed on staff including no cell phones at work, any no-show penalized with a fee of $250 and ‘no visiting or unnecessary talking’ allowed during a shift, even going so far as to ban staff working for a competitor ‘within a 50 mile radius of ABC within one year of termination or voluntary resignation, without prior authorization.

‘Nor shall you be allowed to open your own business of the same time, within the above mentioned radius.’

Amy said: ‘We are hard people to work for, but good people, all we ask is that they pay attention – if they’re not they can hurt people.

‘In Europe they have a different tipping system, just as they do in China and Japan and many restaurants in New York are considering doing away with tipping completely.

However, Amy admitted: ‘Since the show, we recognise the outcry and now we’re giving the servers their tips. It would still work out in their favour to be be paid hourly, but now they’re guaranteed to make a minimum of $7.80 an hour and we make sure they go home with more than that, 100 per cent.’

OK, hold on. Again: I do NOT think that we need to threaten Samy and Amy with rape and murder. Call me crazy. I feel like all of this can be resolved without ever communicating with them in any way, much less a terrorizing and horrific way! But, you can’t argue that your husband would rather cut off his balls than take someone’s tips, and then explain that no one tips in Europe anyways, and then say that you have finally decided that your wait staff can keep their tips. The logic of it just doesn’t quite add up for me. But I’m bad at math! Maybe it’s my fault. I’m also pretty sure you can’t complain that the show portrayed you as delusional and then back up the fact that you aren’t delusional by pointing out that one time Gordon Ramsay said your kitchen was clean. Like, I know a lot of magic can be worked in an editing room, but there IS straight up ACTUAL FOOTAGE of the two of you BEING delusional.

The pair went to cops and say their Twitter, Yelp and work email accounts were hacked too.

Amy alleges they discovered a middle-school student had hacked their Facebook account – but claims that Facebook chiefs have not got in touch with them despite making complaints to the social network.

‘We had to get police involved and the FBI,’ said Amy,’ but the problem is that one of the hackers is a minor, but we know who he is.

Oh sure. You had to get the FBI involved with your hacked Twitter but the problem is that it’s a minor? The problem for whom? Also it sounds like you are for sure making veiled threats against a minor. Is that a problem? FBI? Obama? (I assume Obama is involved at this point.)

While this is all on-going, Amy and Samy, who have been married for 10 years, are now fearful that Samy will be deported back to Israel, where he is a citizen.

Morrocan-born Samy served 15 years in jail in Germany and France after being convicted of drug trafficking.

Neat!

‘We’ve had attorneys review his case and if the case was in America he would never have been arrested – he was a victim of circumstances and surrounded by the wrong people.

Yes, for sure, sounds like circumstances and people for sure.

‘But Samy was honest and truthful and if we have to leave and go to Israel, then we have to leave.

‘Samy feels like he’s an America, he employs Americans and he’s paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes. He does not have a parking ticket or a speeding ticket, he has perfect credit.

‘I believe if anyone deserves to stay here, it’s my husband. We will continue to fight, we’re good people.’

Anyone? IF ANYONE deserves to stay here? I am not saying that I have enough information to decide whether Samy should or should not be allowed to stay in America, but I think, for example, a natural born US citizen who has not spent any years in prison in Germany and France deserves to stay here a little bit more. He might deserve to stay here too! But I think there are maybe millions of people who deserve it more.

One good thing, Amy said, to come out of Kitchen Nightmares is that they are now bombarded by customers.

‘We have a different kind of clientele’, said Amy: ‘We’ve become a summer tourist attraction, we’re humbled when people ask for pictures with us.

‘We’re printing T-shirts that say ‘I survived Amy’s Baking Company’, ‘Here’s your pizza, go f**k yourself’’,’I’m the Gangster, and’ I speak Feline, MEOW!!’ We’re making cherry lemonade out of lemons. Never in my life would I have thought the show would launch us into this kind of stratosphere.

Oh fun. It is always cool when people complain about being victimized in the same sentence that they use their supposed victimization for personal gain. It’s just cool. Always.

‘Now we can only defend Gordon Ramsey, we support him and hope that people are not as quick to judge him and hate on him because of these accusations. Kitchen Nightmares was not doing very well and the ratings were not very strong.

Ah. The Donald Trump gambit. Strong.

‘Our show was the highest they ever had, it broke all of the records, so there are no hard feelings to Fox or Gordon. We are upset about the way we were portrayed and edited but we are focusing on our future now.

‘We wish him all the best- and now we’re working on our own reality show so stay tuned!’

I can only imagine how touched and honored Gordon Ramsay is to be given the blessing of these two entrepreneurs. Our thoughts and prayers are with Ramsay and his ratings during this difficult time. (What a pair of fucking goofballs!)