After years of nervous anticipation, the American people breathe a sigh of relief to learn, as the Hollywood Reporter is Hollywood reporting, that FOX is moving forward with a “crossplatform” adaptation of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. The article actually has an interesting break-down of the series’ herstory, which was created by a guy named Edward Packard, who had the idea for the books but couldn’t get them made until he eventually teamed up with a young guy named R.A. Montgomery. But now, R.A. Montgomery owns the rights to the Choose Your Own Adventure name, and Edward Packard just owns his stories, and is out in some converted garage somewhere, working on “divergent story apps” whatever the hell THAT even means. I know that business is business, but somehow it is so much weirder when business is business about kids’ stuff. Anyway, those books are dope! I love those books. But I am not so sure about this “crossplatform” adaptation. One of the pleasures of the books was that you could instantaneously make your choice, go to the proper page, and keep reading. And sometimes, if you were unhappy with your selection and a child with ZERO HONOR, you could just go back to the previous selection and re-route your course. But if the movie is like, “If you want to drink the elixir, go to YouTube. If you don’t want to drink the elixir and you tell the witch you are hungry instead, go to Vimeo,” then I am going to be hospitalized with serious agita.

If you think a Choose Your Own Adventure “crossplatform” movie is a good idea, go to the comments. If you think a Choose Your Own Adventure “crossplatform” movie is a bad idea, go to the comments. #LOL #URDEADSTARTOVER