Life isn’t easy when you’re a statue. I mean, I know there are worse lives to have, but…I do think it’s fair to say AT LEAST that it isn’t easy. You can’t take that away from me. Sure, there are some statues that have it better than others. The Benjamin Franklin statue at The Franklin Institue in Philadelphia comes to mind. He gets to be indoors, gets a lot of attention. The Rocky statue outside of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, too — dumb jerks are always climbing all over that one. I bet Rocky’s never lonely, probably not even in the wintertime! The Abraham Lincoln Memorial might have it the best out of all of them, though. So much prestige, so much history, gets to look at a pool. But for us regular statues? Ugh. Mostly just a lot of lonely exposure to the elements. One day it all changed for me, though. Yes, ME. Little old statue me. One day I was surrounded by new friends who took photos of me, gave me paper in a glass jar, posed next to me, openly wondered if I was a human or not. Oh, there were so many of them! It was such a leap from my previous existence!

It totally sucked. Those guys were so stupid. (Via ViralViral.)