Hello and welcome to the Pen 15 club! We’re so glad you could join us. Let me begin by telling you that the rumors are true — robots have taken over the job of inducting new members into the Pen 15 club. But don’t worry! You’ll still receive all of the benefits that your friends have been raving about from the human-run organization. Benefits like: Prestige, exclusive invitations to Pen 15 Club events, the personal and business connections that only members of the Pen 15 club can provide, free Sharpie official Pen 15 Club member hand tattoo (to be given upon initiation), the ability to claim the Pen 15 club tax deduction, and best of all the ability to boast about your membership in this world-renowned club. Why would we allow you, simple old stupid old piece of garbage you, into our exclusive club? Well, that’s for us to know and for you only to wonder about! (Though once on the other side, you will be privy to all sorts of members-only information, including our club member selection process.) So, are you ready to make yourself a Pen 15 Man or Woman? Let’s get to it, then!

Congratulations! This is a big day for all of us. (Via Geekologie.)