I was recently led into an article about the Avatar sequels with the headline “Shocking Place Avatar Sequels Will Go.” UH, YES, TELL ME MORE! Hahah. That is how I respond to most Avatar headlines, to be fair, (that is a lie) but this one led to a quote from Avatar producer Jon Landau, explaining that they’re going to attempt to do performance capture in water:

“We want to take advantage of the technologies brilliant people are putting out to make the next two movies even more emotionally engaging and visually tantalizing, and to really wrap up the story arc of our two main characters.”

He continued, saying that they want to actually film it underwater because “[they] can simulate it visually but can’t simulate it experientially for [the actors].” Uh, ok, but also: BOOOOOOOOOOOORRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Filming underwater for an Avatar movie is not the “shocking location” I was promised! SOMEONE LIED TO ME! And when someone lies to you and disappoints you the only thing to do is retreat into your imagination and figure out what it would have been like if they didn’t. Right? Right or wrong? Here are some REAL shocking locations where I’d like the Avatar sequels to go!

• TO HELL. Hahahaha.
• Scranton, Pennsylvania
• The Hollywood sign
• My apartment
• Doctor’s office
• Screening of Avatar 1
• A farm, for the birth of a cow
• Hollywood Walk of Fame
• Kristin Stewart’s house, and Kristin Stewart is there
• James Franco art gallery
• Spring break
• Starbucks
• Bedroom of Avatar’s #1 fan
• James Cameron’s “private room”
• Inside a printer?
• Inside the mind of a comedian creating a parody Twitter account
• Someone who has a big closet filled with neat stuff, and it’s very well organized
• Mars, but like real Mars
• I don’t know
• Jurassic Park 
• Cheers bar
• The Simpsons
• Philadelphia

PHEW. We did it! We filled that void! Is there anything you’d like to add, though? No presh, it’s a pretty good list already, but feel free.