Guys? Let’s do a quick gut check, guys! How’s everybody’s gut? My gut is pretty good. This morning I had to take my car into the car store for a car doctor’s appointment, which you would not think is very exciting, and that’s because it isn’t, BUT I got to eat a free donut, and in addition to doing whatever they did to my car, they also washed it. HELLO?! I was basically MAKING MONEY over there! Not only that, but when I got home I ate, like, four clementines. NOT BAD, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. Of course, whether you are having as good a day as me or not as good of a day or even maybe a better day than me, one thing is for sure: you’re probably having a less embarrassing day than Vincent Kartheiser, who doesn’t even get hashtag jokes. In an interview with Vulture he asked:

What is a hashtag?

WHOOPS, SORRY MAN, SORRY YOU JUST EMBARRASSED YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD. (The truth is that I am always a little bit jealous of people who don’t understand the basic principles of social media. I mean, what a dream. Can you even imagine? We can pretend like they are out of touch or that they’re missing out on some kind of grand communal conversation, but that’s such garbage. They’re doing great. If I had a time machine I would go back and kill Twittler. Get it? #WINNING.) But seriously: your day. How was it? #MadMen #Fever #ThisSunday #JonHammPenis #CarTalk #TrendingWorldwide