Why do you think Mark Wahlberg wasn’t in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek as Captain Kirk’s father, the role that eventually went to Chris Hemsworth? Because he wasn’t asked? WRONG! Because of another filming schedule overlap, or maybe something like he was under contract with a different production company or whatever Hollywood thing sometimes keeps actors from doing certain movies? WRONG! Because he was busy trying to make the Entourage movie happen? GOOD GUESS BUT NO, WRONG! He wasn’t in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek because he JUST COULDN’T UNDERSTAND IT, OK? From Total Film, via Vulture:

“I remember [J.J. Abrams] asking me to play Captain Kirk’s father in Star Trek and I tried to read the script, but I couldn’t even– I didn’t understand the words or dialogue or anything. And I said, ‘I couldn’t do this. I think you’re really talented, but I couldn’t do it.’ And then I saw the movie and I was like, holy shit he did a great job.”

So many frown-y faces. So many smile-y faces. Unfortunately because it is the year 2013 and almost my entire life has been spent in front of a horrible computer box, that is all my brain is providing as a reaction to this story. An endless feed of both frown-ys and smile-ys and an error message: “Error 5048: Mark Wahlberg story too cute — desist functionality error report, send.” Oh man, Mark. I think I am in love with you? “Prevent 9/11 from happening if given the chance, yes, obviously, but understand Spock talking about the whos-e-beam and the holo-space? Not on my best day.” You and me both, buddy. Interview clip after the jump.

He didn’t watch space movies growing up! Give my husband a break!