“Before the guy who programmed this local news station zombie alert came into my life, I was just so boring! Go to work, come home, go to work. There was no whimsy, no excitement. I barely played any video games and if you had asked me the definition of ‘Internet meme’ I would’ve said, ‘Do you mean my cousin Mimi, on the Internet?’ If you’d asked me, ‘What’s an RPG,’ I probably would have said something like, ‘rocket propelled grenade.’ If you had asked me, ‘What’s reddit,’ I would have said, ‘Oh, I don’t know.’ But not anymore. Thanks to my boyfriend, my sweet angel, light of my life, guy who programmed this local news station zombie alert in Montana, I can say for sure, with my whole heart, that I am a better person. Or, I mean, I’m at least a person more focused on zombies and pranks and scaring people for my own amusement with cultural fad references that should’ve been dead long ago, but, like the zombies they are, just won’t seem to go away with some people! Which I think is the same thing as a good person? I’m not sure. All I know FOR SURE for sure is that I love my boyfriend. He is so good at pranks, ermahgerd!” – You

MyFoxDC reports that there were only four calls made to the police after the warning aired, but I think your BF would agree that four scared (DEFINITELY old) people is better than none. Man, your boyfriend! Very intense! (Via Mediaite.)