How is everyone’s day going today? Getting back into the full swing of your normal day-to-day life after the rush and tumble of the holidays? It is about time. That was over 100 years ago. Come on, guys. Be reasonable. I know it’s hard, though. Remember how great it was sitting on your couch watching the Queen of Versailles on Netflix Instant with a glass of wine in the middle of the day? What time is it? What day is it? WHO CARES, THESE QUESTIONS DON’T MATTER! Oh well. I guess you need the normal days to make the holidays feel special in the first place. Besides, even if it’s taking you too long to accept that this is your lot in life and that you are back in it, your day is probably going better than Ben Affleck’s. Did you hear? He was SNUBBED in the Best Director category at the Oscars for his movie The Argos. Oh no! Ben Affleck really wanted that nod! Everyone was so sure and they told him so. “There are but three constants in life, death, taxes, and Ben Affleck’s Best Director Oscar nod for The Argos.” Poor guy. Is life even worth living anymore? All he has is a celebrated and enduring career with no end in sight, handsome children, and millions of dollars. BUT FOR WHAT? HE WAS TOLD THIS WAS HIS YEAR FOR THE NOD! What a heartbreaker. You just work so medium-hard at something for so long, earning millions of dollars and fans in the process, only to not get this one thing that is bordering on meaningless but that you really fixated on, at least according to the celebrity press, which, OK, maybe the guy doesn’t even care, it’s hard to say at this point, but what is important is that Oscars and also nods and also Bennifer and mansions.

How was your day? Mine was fine, thank you!