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This Man Hates His Penis, Inside Voices

9:11 AM EDT on June 12, 2009

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The best thing about this video is that it's just a straight-up excerpt from a DVD that you can purchase, uploaded by the distribution company that's selling it. Everything Is Terrible and the YouTube Goons had nothing to do with it! Grassroots marketing! The only problem is that you can't have the DVD shipped to you. You have to go to this dude's house for a vegan potluck dinner to pick it up. NO SHOES ALLOWED.

Here's how the full experience of Body Memories is described on the website, with director's commentary (me!):

You are invited to come and dance the edge between what is deeply personal and very human, between laughter and grief and wonder.

Oh shoot! I'm busy! Maybe I can get a rain check on dancing the edge between what is deeply personal and very human, between laughter and grief and wonder?

Body Memories is a wild and often comic ride, one man's journey inward to find meaning in his life. He becomes an archeologist of the soul, digging through the layers of his past. Evocative images blend with a riveting performance that uncovers family secrets and buried traumas.

Ugh, of COURSE he becomes an archaeologist of the soul. Digging through the layers of his ponytail. Evocative ponytails blend with a riveting ponytail that uncovers family ponytails and buried ponytails.

The Bouffon, a creature who reflect the light and dark aspects of the protagonist's journey, accompanies him on this outrageous odyssey.

No comment.

One part Spalding Gray, one part Pan's Labyrinth, Body Memories is more than a poignant and enchanting story, it is mythic revelation of hope and possibility.

Hahahaha. "One part Spalding Gray, one part Pan's Labyrinth" is the single most incredible way to describe anything ever. Put that on this guy's tombstone. Put that on your boyfriend's tombstone.

ORDER NOOOOOWW! (Via HolyTaco.)