Advertising Executive 1: Dr. Pepper...Dr. Pepper...What about a famous doctor? Get it? Famous doctor...Dr. Pepper.
Advertising Executive 2: You're a genius.
Advertising Executive 1: Like, Dr. J, from basketball.
Advertising Executive 2: Seriously, they should put your brain in a museum for all the people to come and visit. "Look at this incredible brain. It belonged to a man."
Advertising Executive 1: Dr. Drew?
Advertising Executive 2: Perfect.
Advertising Executive 1: Donna, get Dr. Drew on the phone.
10 minutes later:
Advertising Executive 1: Dr. Drew's out.
Advertising Executive 2: What do you mean, Dr. Drew's out.
Advertising Executive 1: He says he's too busy trying to force his way into another television show under the guise of being "helpful" when in reality he's just feeding his own narcissistic need for fame and attention.
Advertising Executive 2: Fair enough.
Advertising Executive 1: Dr. Phil?
Advertising Executive 2: Perfect. I'm telling you, an entire wing of the Genius Museum should just be filled with your story. And it's not "suggested donation," it's fucking 10 dollars and you're lucky to pay it.
Advertising Executive 1: Donna, get Dr. Phil's people on the phone, please, and could you bring me a Dr. Red Bull?
10 minutes later.
Advertising Executive 1: Dr. Phil's out.
Advertising Executive 2: You can't win them all.
Advertising Executive 1: He doesn't see how helping to sell a soda will further his career as a hacky loudmouth with little to no actual wisdom to offer.
Advertising Executive 2: DOCTOOOOOORRRR PHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL. Pass the cocaine.
Advertising Executive 1 passes the cocaine.
Advertising Executive 1: I've got nothing. Fuck.
Advertising Executive 2: Fuck.
10 minutes later.
Advertising Executive 2: I've got it.
Advertising Executive 1: Hit me!
Advertising Executive 2: Dr. Dre.
Advertising Executive 1: Who's that?
Advertising Executive 2: He's the fuckin'...you know, the fuckin' guy. The black guy. Rap rap rap, hip hop rap rap!
Advertising Executive 1: You think he'll do it?
Advertising Executive 2: There's only one way to find out.
Advertising Executive 1: Donna, get...what's his name again?
Advertising Executive 2: Dr. Dre.
Advertising Executive 1: Donna, get Dr. Dre, MD, on the phone.
10 minutes later.
Advertising Executive 1: He's in.
Advertising Executive 2: High five.
They high five, their hands momentarily shrouded in a cloud of cocaine residue.
Advertising Executive 1: He only has one requirement.
Advertising Executive 2: Give it to me. GIVE IT TO ME! MAKE ME FEEL GOOOOOOOD.
Advertising Executive 1: He wants it to be really lame and kind of depressing. He wants the ad to make you reconsider what you think of him in a slightly negative way.
Advertising Executive 2: Done.
