Whuuuuuuuuuuuuut?! First thing's first, as they say in sports: nothin' but SPOILERS. So, Jacob. He is real, and he is pretty cool. Even back in the 1600s he talks like a normal dude. One imagines that when that giant sailing ship landed on the old beach and everyone disembarked saying "what hast thou to sustain our personage" or "doest ye ...