Sadly, despite what you may have heard from a very official-looking Facebook event page, Metallica are not playing at the grand re-opening of Joe’s Crab Shack in Tucson, Arizona in August. And no, VIP “golden tickets” to the event are not being hidden inside carne asada burritos at all Los Betos Restaurant locations. Ever since that “Limp Bizkit are playing a free show at a gas station in Ohio” hoax went viral a couple of months ago, similar joke events have been popping up all over Facebook — Third Eye Blind Live At LensCrafters, Smash Mouth Live In The Dumpster Behind Gelson’s Market In Los Angeles, etc. But it seems that not everyone is in on the joke: As Blabbermouth reports, Los Betos employees have recently been flooded with calls from Metallica fans trying to snag tickets to their performance at Joe’s Crab Shack, and the NBC-affiliated local news station KVOA ran an investigative report debunking the hoax. Have your dreams dashed on the cruel rocks of reality below.