John Mayer talks too much!!!! Every time the guy does an interview, he says something that makes you wonder why you ever bought Room For Squares on CD at the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts as a young tween girl. In a recent New York Times Magazine profile, Mayer asserted that he’s ready to write some new hits and not be racist, after he fell out of public favor for saying some really fucked-up stuff in a 2010 Playboy interview. Since said interview, Mayer has been performing with the Grateful Dead, which seems like an OK punishment for his misdeeds. Still, he must be raking in a shitload of money, evidenced by the fact that he is obsessed with the Japanese clothing brand Visvim and also watches. But I digress.

The journalist who profiled Mayer, Joe Coscarelli, published some outtake quotes from their interview today. And, as you can imagine, the quotes are eyeroll-inducing. (For the record, Coscarelli refers to Mayer as a “prodigious talker — for better or worse.”) I have listed a few of the best quotes for your perusal below.

On the backlash Mayer faced after controversial interviews:

As I autopsy that part of my life, it turns out that I was under the impression that I was a bigger star than I was. I appreciate that there was a market correction.

On being a famous person:

It’s just the life that I have, which is fabulous — it’s just a bit more time on the International Space Station. Don’t ever let me give you the sense that I don’t love being on the International Space Station. It’s a pretty cool reason why you haven’t settled down — because you’re an astronaut.

On his aforementioned extravagant Visvim collection:

I live for FedEx tracking numbers. I have a FedEx tracking number that’s so hot right now I’ll be watching it all night like Norad tracking Santa Claus. It’s from Japan, it’s getting here tomorrow. But [my stuff] gets held up in customs a lot because it’s so much Japanese clothing that customs is like, “What store is this going to?” Like, no, it’s a person. “It can’t be going to a person, this is too much commercial value.”

Mr. Mayer, in your own immortal words: take a seat.