Madonna has a long history of late-night talk-show hijinks, going back at least to the famous 1994 Letterman interview where she cussed a bunch of times and wouldn’t leave the stage. Last night, Madonna spent a very long time talking to Jimmy Fallon, who is probably the last person that anyone should ask to interview Madonna in front of an audience. She was there to promote her Madame X concert movie on Paramount+, but she was really there for some hijinks.

At the very beginning of their interview, Madonna implied that Fallon had never heard of James Baldwin, which is pretty funny: “I’m really inspired by James Baldwin. The writer. Have you heard of him? Don’t lie.” Shortly afterwards, when Madonna was talking about the importance of art that pushes boundaries, Fallon said that Madonna gets in “good trouble.” Madonna then said, “Good trouble. Mmm.” And she crawled up on Fallon’s desk. Fallon, either deeply flustered or doing a bit that he was deeply flustered — never can tell with this guy — attempted to throw his jacket over Madonna. When she returned to her seat, Madonna said, “Life is not just about interviewing kiddies. Don’t you want to talk to an adult?” (She may have said “kitties”? Either way, burn.)

And then the interview just kept going! Madonna sang an impromptu “Like A Virgin” chorus. She said, “I like opiates.” She went on about how there hasn’t been a movie about her because the men who tried to write Madonna movies don’t know shit: “‘Good men’ is pretty much an oxymoron.” At one point, she also flashed her underwear at the audience. She also did a “kid theater” sketch with Fallon, but Stereogum doesn’t pay me enough to make it through that. Someone else will have to report whether anything happened during that one. You can watch all the hijinks below.

Whoever booked Madonna to talk to the least combative late-night host in history: Terrible job! Don’t do that again! Kimmel or Colbert could’ve at least done something with all that.