Craftwerk: The 10 Weirdest Sex Pistols Crafts On The Web
It was 1975 when fashion maven and self-styled music impresario Malcolm McLaren had his first fateful encounter with the then-17-year-old John Lydon, soon to be notoriously rechristened Johnny Rotten. The precocious Lydon was wearing an old Pink Floyd T-shirt that he had refurbished with the words “I HATE” scrawled across the band’s name. This as much as anything vouchsafed the notion in McLaren’s diabolical mind that Lydon was just the man to front the aggressive, smart and profoundly political band that he was then molding as a sort of UK equivalent to the Ramones and the New York Dolls. By the time of the belated release of the Sex Pistols’s brilliant one-and-done record Never Mind The Bollocks in 1978, Lydon and company had passed permanently into legend. Rising above the low-hanging fruit of publicity driven “controversy” that had made them public enemy No. 1 for an “outraged British media,” the album was replete with songs consisting of inspired hooks and bilious, trenchant attacks on the UK status quo. The story of the band’s brief and semi-tragic Icarus flight has been well documented on multiple occasions, with perhaps Julian Temple’s 2000 documentary The Filth And The Fury standing as the best living testimony to the Pistols’ transcendent apostasy.
But it is important to consider just how much the revolution the Pistols helped to set in motion was equally as much about fashion as it was loud guitars, abrasive lyrics, and agit-prop polemics. Just as the aesthetics of Andy Warhol’s factory went to great lengths in defining the avant-garde leanings of the Velvet Underground, so did McLaren’s vision of a frightening, nihilistic, postmodern take on fashion inform the Pistols’ brief and unlikely takeover of the British charts. BBC reports and other television features from the time, somewhat unfortunately, preoccupy themselves with the safety pins, spiked hair, and torn clothes of the punk rock cohort, effectively ignoring the incisive commentary that this community had brought to bear as an indictment of fiscal and cultural elites. The media’s take was regrettably myopic, but they weren’t fully wrong. McLaren always intended his Pistols to buttress their material with a shock-and-awe stage presence, one that was in the late period of the band’s short history abetted by the unfortunate Sid Vicious, who looked great and barely knew how to play his bass.
In the final analysis, it is both cool and appropriate that devoted Pistols fans have elected to express their ardor through visual arts and homespun craft. Here are 10 examples of the best and most comical Pistols-related items available online. No one has yet offered their “I HATE Mumford and Sons” tee shirt, but we’re on the short list in the event that anyone’s selling.
Start Crafting here.
There's quite a bit going on here -- we've got the miniskirt, composed of the plaid and black fabrics, the Sex Pistols patch, TWO (2!) zippers, the hand-painted "God Save The Queen," and of course the PVC tutu. It's not an objectively practical silhouette, maybe not something one could wear to the inaugural ball, but certainly emblematic of the kind of DIY bricolage that industrious young punks have been moved to create since bands like the Sex Pistols inspired them to be outrageous in their self-expression. Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn might say, "that's a lot of look," to which we respond, "Fuck you, Tim Gunn, you dirty bastard."
Well, this is -- how do you say -- a bit noir-ish? Amongst the most infamous and confusing "somebody got stabbed and died and we kind of think we know but don't really totally understand" cases this side of the Baltimore Ravens's middle linebacker
Inspired by the Pistols' acid reimagining of the de facto British national anthem "God Save The Queen," this cravat lays bare some bold truths. One priceless component of the designer's ad for this essential accessory is that he or she thinks it would be ideal for a child's back-to-school wardrobe. Well, it ain't exactly a Trapper Keeper, but on the other hand, every institution houses its young revolutionaries, and any young misfit who can actually tie a tie has the potential to change the world.
What better metaphor for the Pistols' attempted demolition of the Thatcher-led Tory Culture of the late 1970s than this decorative symbol of working class values reflected through the prism of life on the lanes? What's more, this brings to mind the important words and deeds of two of America's classic counterculture icons as well -- we mean of course Walter Sobchak and Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski. Say what you will about the tenets of anarchy, at least it's an ethos. Somewhere between "No future for you" and "Fuck it dude, lets go bowling" probably lies the answers to all the worlds ills.
OK, let's stipulate that this item doesn't necessarily make intuitive sense. Not immediately. Not when dealing with the matter in the most surface of interpretations. But take a look under the hood, and it all begins to come together. Longstanding underdog Baltimore and its Super Bowl-bound Ravens conflated alongside Johnny Rotten's working class London of late 1970s. The anarchic, eyesore that is the Maryland state flag juxtaposed with the in-your-face fashions of Malcolm McLaren. The hectic, badgering assault of the Ravens' frightening brickbat defense, coupled with the Pistols all-out, no-prisoners musical barrage. The image of the crazed, barking coach John Harbaugh behaving as any lupine mad rabble rouser would. No -- this shirt is exactly perfect. Even if you aren't a fan of either the Baltimore Ravens or the Sex Pistols, you should definitely own this article. It's living history and cross-cultural art in balance. Plus, murder conviction or no, you don't want to piss off Ray Lewis.
Between Sid's antics and Rotten's genius, we don't talk enough about Steve Jones -- the stalwart lead guitarist who is so very responsible for the group's enduring impact. Jones deserves better; his tone and style in many ways made the Pistols what they are. But owing to his relatively laid-back profile, it can be easy to forget the true extent of his contribution. You want to know who hasn't forgotten the extent of his contribution? It's deviantart.com user "nineinchnailbunny" who has crafted the following: a multi-media digital portrait of Steve Jones overlaid on a mosaic Union Jack that lays its principles bare in its title: THIS IS THE TALENTED ONE.
Some things are out of our purview. Sure, we might know that an item is outstanding, but we don't necessarily know all the facts. At times like these we call on our friend and colleague James Jackson Toth to clean up the mess. Anyway, this rendering of the Last Supper containing all punk rock icons is one such example. Obviously, this is terrific and needed to happen. On the other hand, whether owing to impressionism on the artist's behalf, or ignorance on our own, we didn't know who half of these people are. That's why we brought in Toth: essentially the Wolf for all things punk rock related. Here, unedited, are his findings with respect to who is depicted:
"Here is my guess based on first glance, through groggy morning eyes. But yes, this is a good idea, and if it was a good painting, it wouldn't be nearly as fun.Left to Right -- Jerry Only (Misfits); Johnny Rotten; no idea -- looks like Pete Koller of Sick Of It All but surely not; Lee Ving from Fear (I think?); Darby Crash; Joey Ramone; Sid Vicious; GG Allin; Jello Biafra; Exploited dude maybe?; Joe Strummer; possibly David Vanian from the Damned (best guess); Ian MacKaye."
Religious allegory aside, Lydon (not Sid) was the true Messiah -- so young and so brilliant. It was always Johnny in the basement mixing up the medicine.
The album design for the Pistols one true official release Never Mind The Bollocks is an iconic and pitch-perfect instance of pop art, a brilliant satire of cynical, slapdash advertising, made even more trenchant by its deliberately garish employ of bright yellow, hot pink, and dark black text. Unlike the overt mythmaking of the Clash's first album cover, here the Pistols resist the urge to codify their image by putting their own faces on it, and instead choose to embark on life as just another store-bought brand. Later in his career, Rotten (performing under his given name John Lydon) would take this approach to its logical ends on the Public Image Ltd release Album, which featured the most generic artwork imaginable, demonstrating a provocative and forward-looking insight into an era when logos and slogans would largely displace individual expression in both the art and advertising world. The irony of this fetching item -- a hat based upon the original Bollocks artwork -- is that it demonstrates the great extent to which the original album design aesthetics got it right. Repurposed as a random article of clothing it looks tremendous -- both functional and fashionable. Pink Floyd should have made a T-shirt so good.
Seemingly hijacked directly from the wardrobe of Tobias Fünke during his theoretical Punk Rock Daddy phase, these beauties will figuratively and literally reveal a great deal about any fan daring enough to don them. Per the specifics here, these shorts have been "bleached, frayed and studded" -- and you know, who hasn't been at one time or another? The important thing to remember is as long as individual expression like this continues to occur, it's inarguably apparent that punk's not dead. Also, don't wear these in prison.
