Earlier this week, Dev Hynes, who records as Blood Orange and who just gave us the excellent album Cupid Deluxe, lost just about every earthly belonging in an apartment fire that also killed his dog, Cupid. Friends frontwoman Samantha Urbani is Hynes’ girlfriend and frequent collaborator, and Urbani’s mother Robin began collecting online donations to help Hynes with some of the financial impact. In a long, touching, and understandably scattered Tumblr post, Hynes profusely thanks Robin and everyone who’d donated or sent sympathy his way, but he also explains that the fundraiser makes him “uncomfortable.” Here’s what he writes:

If I am honest, the fundraiser makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. This isn’t me saying I don’t need the money, to reiterate, i have lost everything. But maybe it’s time I down some anxiety medication see a doctor and try and play some shows y’know? There are things i can do, although it will take years, that can help myself rebuild, a huge part of me is still struggling with understanding the events of two nights ago, and where to take my life from here.

This isn’t me being unappreciative. Tears stream down my face when Samantha shows me the nice messages people have written. It’s overwhelming in the most extremely nicest way that people would care about this But as I stated before, so many people have nothing they can do to rebuild their life from scratch.

I have a lot to think about, I don’t even know where to start from, I just wanted to be honest.

I want to give all the money to charity, 3 charities to be precise which I will explain further at a future point, that’s how I feel, i’m being spoken to by people who are close and understand my situation and are trying to advise me. As I probably am still in shock, and may not have a choice but to accept some of the money, and then think about charities, I don’t know… I don’t know where my head is at right now…

But I had to say something.

You can read the full post here.

UPDATE: Robin Urbani has ended the fundraiser at Dev’s request.