Your Friend: Here’s your pizza…go fuck yourself…
You: Hahah. I know, right? It’s from Amy’s Baking Company, the restaurant from that episode of Kitchen Nightmares?
Your Friend: Oh, no, I know. I know what it’s from.
You: Hahah. Dude. They’re selling merchandise now!
Your Friend: Okay.
You: You seem like you don’t like it? Maybe you don’t remember the episod–
Your Friend: I guess I understand why they would start selling merchandise, that actually makes total sense and I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, but — I just don’t know why you actually bought it.
You: Whoa. Dude.
Your Friend: I mean, obviously you should make your own t-shirt decisions–
You: Uh, yeah.
Your Friend: –but in that same way I think I should be able to make my own t-shirt assessments and I REALLY don’t like this one.
You: That’s not the same thing, first of all, and second of all but wait, do you remember how funny the episode was?
Your Friend: Yeah, it was great.
You: So what’s your problem?! I don’t think you’ve thought this through.
Your Friend: You don’t think that I thought this through?!
You: This is my best comedy shirt, dude.
Your Friend: WHAT?

You: It’s my best comedy shirt. I love funny shirts and stuff but this is my best one.
Your Friend: You should not have multiple funny shirts. You shouldn’t even have one funny shirt.
You: You’re so judgmental.
Your Friend: YOUR SHIRT SAYS HERE’S YOUR PIZZA GO FUCK YOURSELF ON IT!
You: Calm down, man.
Your Friend: You’re right. I’m sorry.
You: Apology accepted, man.
Your Friend: Remember when they wouldn’t give waitresses their tips? Remember how they were mentally unstable? Remember how ABC is probably just a money laundering front?!
You: What does that have to do with my shirt?
Your Friend: I don’t want to stand near you while you have that shirt on.
You: Whatever, dude. I’m never taking it off.
Your Friend: Ugh.
You: UGH.

Scene.