Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s been almost an entire year since we got word of a new Celebrity Hero! (The last being Jennifer Lawrence, who came to the aid of a woman who passed out on her lawn.) Where have all the heros been hiding?! Maybe because there was such a rash of Celebrity Heroics last year the whole lot of them met and decided to keep their efforts under wraps, but John Malkovich had to miss the meeting? Ugh, if only we could understand what went on behind Hollywood doors!!! (JK, we have a fine idea.) (Emergency medical training.) From The Hollywood Reporter:

On Thursday, John Malkovich helped a man who was bleeding from the neck after falling on the sidewalk, Canadian news stations CBC News and CTV News report.

The Ohio man, Jim Walpole, fell on scaffolding on the sidewalk near the front of the King Edward Hotel in Toronto and reportedly began bleeding from his neck.

A doorman at the hotel, Chris Mathias, said in an interview with CTV that the actor, who was smoking a cigarette at the time, stepped over to assist: “Mr. Malkovich was here … [he] placed his hand and started applying pressure immediately to the man’s neck and didn’t let go until the ambulance arrived.”

“It’s my NECK, Schwartz! It’s my neeeccck!” Hahaha. I’d like to believe that that’s what I would have said in the situation. “I didn’t play Schwartz in that movie,” is maybe with John Malkovich would’ve said. “Oh, which one did you play? John Cusack?” And then I would be dead, because I deserved it! Here’s an interview with the man John Malkovich saved who said nothing like that during the ordeal, both because he didn’t know who John Malkovich was and because he was quite injured:

Aw. Thank you, John Malkovich. And thank you to all of the Celebrity Heros who do their business in private.