How do you meet women in a grocery store? I guess first you have to find where the women are, in order to meet them. I’d recommend first checking the aisles in which you’d find women-related products — soaps, candles, rubber gloves, feminine napkins (napkins with designs on them, for parties). Walk up and down these aisles until you find a woman. (It might take longer than you’d expect, depending on how many women live in your neighborhood and how often they go shopping for groceries. Don’t give up! They have to be there sometime! It’s not like women can go for long periods of time without eating, right? Hahah.) (Or can they? If you do research and find that women’s bodies do not require food at the same rate that men’s bodies do [or maybe they can store food inside somewhere?] you might want to rethink the location of meeting a woman — remember to check.) Once you find a woman you’d like to approach, walk up to her and approach her from her side. DO NOT APPROACH HER FROM HER BACK!! Women are frightened easily and do not like it if you stand behind them and introduce yourself, EVEN IF that was how it happened naturally and they were facing the shelves and you needed something from where they were reaching, so what did they expect you to do? You weren’t trying to be weird. Tell her your name and ask her what her name is. Does she respond with a name? If yes, ask her where her boyfriend is — say something like, “Oh, is this the kind of soap your boyfriend likes?” (Her response will tell you whether or not she has a boyfriend!!) If she responds with something along the lines of, “I don’t have a boyfriend, but I would like it very much if my boyfriend DID use this soap, if I had one,” casually put the soap into your shopping cart. Say, “Maybe he does?” You’ve successfully planted the seed. Leave the grocery store and hope you see her around town again.

Or I guess talk to her about how fun and interesting ice cream is (to talk about) and then segue gracefully into asking if she wants to “do it together.” (Thanks for the tip, Terry!)