I don’t have any children of my own, YET, hi ladies, but I’ve done my fair share of babysitting (ALWAYS BE ON YOUR GRIND) and I’ve seen movies and stuff. The point is: babies, right. Yes. For sure. These days, though, one of the hardest things about having a baby is knowing whether or not a baby has peed its diaper. Who has the time in our modern lives?! Oh, sure, you could just CHECK, but this is 2013. Checking is for ASSHOLES. (Can you believe that there was a time when people didn’t even have diapers?! I don’t know why we are still a species today because frankly I think everyone should have just KILLED THEMSELVES.) I know what you are thinking because we are all thinking it: now that we have diapers and also smart phones there has GOT to be a way to COMBINE those two things. Ding Dong McFly, say hello to TweetPee, the newest invention from Huggies. You simply place an electronic sensor on your baby’s dick or vagina and as soon as they start peeing through it, the sensor sends a fucking TWEET BLAST directly to your phone letting you know there is pee everywhere. THIS IS SO GREAT. Now you don’t even have to be in the same room as your baby. Just put it on the floor of the coat closet, strap the sensor to its dick, close the door so you don’t have to see its stupid baby face, and head out to the boom boom room for some cocktails. YOU FUCKING EARNED IT. FIST BUMP. What is your baby really adding to the conversation when you think about it? What is your baby’s BRAND, even?! Follow your baby’s pee on Twitter. THIS IS AN AWESOME WORLD WE LIVE IN AND I’M VERY EXCITED JUST TO BE A PART OF IT.

Admittedly, the ad is in Portuguese because that is where all of the latest Piss Tech gets product tested, but it’s only a matter of time before TweetPee is available IN MANHATTAN.

What a great invention. Mark Zuckerberg is like aw fuuuuu why didn’t I invent that for my MOVIE?! Silicon Valley is burning. The world is soaked. I’m lovin’ it. TweetPee. TWEETPEE. (Via LaughingSquid.)