Uh oh, ladies. Better call the hospital and make sure they have a last minute reservation for a VAGINA REPLACEMENT because yours just EXPLODED. (OK, first of all, I am sorry. That was gross. And I know there are dudes who are into Tom Hardy, too. So dudes, please make sure that you get something to clean up the mess your penis made when it exploded. Ugh. Great. Now my apology has actually made things worse. AND YET NO ONE CAN BE MAD AT ME BECAUSE OF THESE PHOTOS SO I GUESS THAT IT ALL WORKED OUT IN THE END, THANK YOU TOM PUPPY.) Not entirely sure why he bought a puppy on the docks. Seems like a weird place to get a puppy. Otherwise, though, A++ would do business with puppy again. Now, obviously we know what Tom Hardy is thinking: I’m a handsome and famous actor who is enjoying incredible success, sure, but it is only in this moment that there will be entire thematic Tumblr’s dedicated to me and my puppy. BUT WHAT IS THE PUPPY THINKING?

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, which is not as good as a puppy or Carl Kassell’s voice on your answering machine, but it’s something. (Images via Celebitchy.)