Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: How are you?
Gabe: pretty good, thank you for asking
Kelly: You’re welcome!
Gabe: no real complaints
Gabe: many fake complaints
Gabe: “this beanbag is too grumpy!”
Gabe: things like that
Gabe: but mostly i’m good
Gabe: how are you?
Kelly: Oh, me? I’m fine.
Kelly: It’s snowing a bit, which is nice, though I do have to say that I’m ready for spring!
Kelly: You with me?
Gabe: did you tell anyone?
Gabe: kelly’s ready, guys!
Kelly: I’m ready! Bring it on!
Kelly: BING it on.
Kelly: #bingchallenge
Gabe: you love bing
Kelly: It wins every time I do the bing challenge.
Kelly: When I challenge myself to think of something I love more than Bing
Kelly: & I cannot
Gabe: what a great challenge you play
Gabe: your life is fun, you have fun
Kelly: ¯_(?)_/¯

Kelly: So anyway you’re a big Star Wars fan, right
Gabe: well, no, i am an adult
Gabe: but i loved star wars as a child
Gabe: when it was appropriate to do so
Kelly: Oh boy, here we go!
Gabe: THOSE ARE MOVIES FOR CHILDREN
Kelly: hahaha
Gabe: THAT’S ALL
Gabe: why, do you love star wars so much?
Kelly: No, I don’t know anything about Star Wars.
Kelly: The only full Star Wars movie I’ve ever sat down and watched was the one with Jar Jar Binks because I saw it in theaters with my family
Gabe: !!!!!!
Gabe: that is like
Gabe: saying that the only stand up comedy you’ve ever seen
Gabe: was a Jeff Dunham show
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: No, I know
Kelly: I honestly did not want to admit it but I didn’t think there was a way I’d get around the truth in this chat
Kelly: “My favorite part was when he fell off the cliff and did the scream”
Kelly: “Did you even THINK he’d be the father?”
Kelly: Someday I’ll see the actual movies
Gabe: i don’t like it when
Gabe: someone hasn’t seen something
Gabe: that everyone else pretty much has seen
Gabe: and everyone is shocked and amazed and even ANGRY that they haven’t seen it
Gabe: because it’s like, yeah, so what, there are gaps in everyone’s knowledge of the world
Gabe: everyone hasn’t seen something they should have seen

Gabe: especially with movies for children, like this or the Goonies or whatever
Kelly: Yeah
Gabe: where you’re past the age where you’re even going to like it anyway
Gabe: so what’s the point
Gabe: you’re just going to watch a movie that has aged so-so intedned for a much younger audience and you are going to be unimpressed and kind of bored
Gabe: but also why didn’t you just watch it at some point?
Gabe: hahahahaha
Gabe: after all of that, i can’t believe you and i am MAD
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: I knew after all of that
Kelly: You’d give us a TWIST
Gabe: kelly, i am your boss
Gabe: get it?
Gabe: star wars
Gabe: KELLY, I AM YOUR BOSS
Kelly: But you’re a bad guy noooooo wilhelm scream noooooooo
Gabe: ew
Gabe: i think if you have never seen star wars
Gabe: you are not allowed to reference willhelm scream
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: It’s totally possible that I saw Star Wars as a baby and just forgot or whatever.
Kelly: I almost certainly did.
Kelly: Let’s drop it ok
Gabe: oh cool
Gabe: cool loophole
Gabe: forget i said anything
Gabe: just go to a hypnotist
Gabe: and have them rescue all of your star wars memories
Gabe: anyway
Gabe: what is your star wars news, nerd?
Kelly: Get ready! Put on your seatbelt!
Kelly: George Lucas, in an interview with Star Wars fan zine Bloomberg Businessweek
Gabe: DID THE WILLHELM SCREAM/!
Kelly: Hahahah YES YES YES
Gabe: GEORGE LUCAS REVEALED THAT THE WILLHELM SCREAM WILL BE IN THE NEW STAR WARS INSTALLMENTS
Kelly: No.
Kelly: BUT
Kelly: He confirmed that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher would be in them!!
Kelly: ALL YOUR OLD FRIENDS!
Gabe: gross
Gabe: that’s dumb
Kelly: “I hope you haven’t gotten too old for us, Gabriel…” -Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher
Kelly: “We’re coming back, Gabriel…I hope you still love us…”
Gabe: they are all so old, what are they going to do in this movie?!

Kelly: Hopefully MAKE OUT!
Gabe: luke, use the force….to replace my hip!
Gabe: LOLOLOLOL
Gabe: VERY GOOD JOKE
Kelly: AahahahAHAHAHHA
Kelly: “Luke I am your great grandfather” lol
Gabe: you’re like “Me So Jar Jar!” that is your only star wars reference
Kelly: 🙁
Kelly: Which one of those guys played Jar Jar though?
Kelly: Mark Hamill?
Gabe: i think it was carlos mencia
Kelly: Oooh right right
Gabe: i feel like these aging movie stars
Gabe: should continue to be in movies, that is fine
Gabe: like, new movies
Gabe: where they play guests
Gabe: at marigold hotels
Gabe: and what have you
Kelly: Mmhm
Gabe: but when it comes to time to recreate the old magic, they should have the dignity
Gabe: to say “I don’t want anyone to see me like this”
the way injured animals will just crawl off into the woods and die
Gabe: have some respect! you are not going to come off well!
Gabe: things change for all of us, it’s ok, embrace it pip pops!
Kelly: Right, and with something like this
Kelly: I feel like everyone involved feels like the fans are demanding it, or at the very least will be so excited about it
Kelly: And maybe the fans will be
Kelly: But probably only until they see it
Kelly: And realize that oops oh right no they are humans and probably shouldn’t be doing this anymore
Gabe: i just think there is something so depressing about it, for everyone involved
Gabe: fans as well
Gabe: move on with your lives, fans
Gabe: there are so many things out there!
Gabe: find a new one
Kelly: Or at the very least just dwell on what you already have, if that’s all you want.
Kelly: If you want something new why just, yeah, find a new thing
Gabe: right, that’s the weird side of it
Kelly: Not a garbagey version of your old thing
Gabe: like, if they remake something the fans get mad
Gabe: why?
Gabe: they’re not destroying all the copies of the old one
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: people have such weird rules when it comes to satisfying their nostalgia
Gabe: you have to do it this way! don’t ruin it for me!
Gabe: my precious memories and my overall value system is too fragile i might die!
Gabe: that is my impression of a very real person who definitely exists
Gabe: and not a straw man i just invented to represent my general feelings
Gabe: about the situation
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: Sure
Kelly: It is ridiculous, but also
Kelly: Even though I know it is ridiculous, a band I like very much that broke up a long time ago is getting back together and releasing new music soon and my first thought when hearing that was
Kelly: Noooooooooo wilhelm scream!!!!!!!!!
Kelly: Because my first FEELING was that they were going to ruin what in my mind was a perfect legacy of perfect music
Kelly: But also they are just humans and can do whatever they want, who cares.
Gabe: is it Zwan?
Gabe: are you talking about Zwan?

Kelly: SHHHH SHH SHH
Kelly: yes
Gabe: talk about a perfect legacy of perfect music
Kelly: hahaha
Gabe: zwan: music :: kelly : willhelm scream
Kelly: It’s kind of like being Facebook friends with someone you were very good friends with as a kid
Kelly: Who has grown up to be a nightmare
Kelly: The memories are still the same but also now you have to think of all that new stuff when you think of the memories
Gabe: and asking them if they want to go ride bikes and then sleep over
Kelly: hahah right
Kelly: WHY ISN’T IT THE SAME ANYMORE?!
Kelly: But really when you think about it none of it matters.
Kelly: Who cares whatever #starwars
Gabe: hahahahahhah
Gabe: good point, good slogan
Kelly: ty ty
Gabe: kelly, i am your boss
Gabe: INDEED