One time, at brunch at my parents’ house, the conversation turned towards the varying merits of our town’s different grocery stores, culminating with my mom’s over-enthusiastic declaration that the best store in town was Hillers. What she actually said was: “Hillers is da bomb.” Hillers is da bomb! Never in all of their years working hard in the Slang Factory did any of the slang scientists foresee one of their more popular products being used by middle-aged white women to describe grocery stores. My mom, like many moms, had already by this point taken to referring to the rhinestones on her clothing as “bling.” The point is, while moms are the best and I love mine very much and when was the last time you called yours, they do have an uncanny ability to take something that was intended to be cool and make it the opposite. They basically function as an expiration date on certain popular trends (not to be confused with a “use by” date, which would indicate a shortened shelf life after the moms get involved–no way, that thing is now as spoiled as it gets). And while I am not related to anyone on the cast of All My Family, I feel like their late entry into the “Harlem Shake” meme provides the very same function. They are, after all, the middle-aged white mom of television.

I did not even watch this video. STAY OUT OF MY ROOM, CAST OF ALL MY CHILDREN!