“It’s hard to even remember what my life was like before meeting Lisa. I woke up in the morning and went to work, I know that much, but what did I think about all day? What occupied my mind, what plans did I make for the future, and was I ever even excited about them? Whom did I talk to on Gchat, and if I didn’t talk to anyone on Gchat, how did I even get through the 8-hour day? It’s all a blur that I don’t like thinking about too much because now my vision of the world is crystal clear, and its name is Lisa. And it doesn’t even matter that she licks cat hair right off of her cat not only to clean it as if she is its cat mother, but also because she just likes to have cat hair in her mouth and — when not licking it directly from the cat — will gather it up from around the house and chew on it, spit it out, and then chew on it again. Why would I be mad about that? We all have our weird things! For instance, sometimes I will suck on the end of a fork even after I’ve eaten the food off of the fork. Just suck, suck, suck on the metal until I realize I’m doing it and then I stop. It that much better than sucking on cat hair that you find in your house? Who am I to judge. And my thing doesn’t even help clean the house! So, of course I don’t mind. I’m just so proud of my baby girl for making it on to TLC’s My Strange Addiction. Her dream is my dream, and I’m so happy it finally came true.” – You

I’m so sorry about this! I’m so sorry about your girlfriend! I’m so sorry, Lisa! I know we have to get through this life as best we can, and we can’t always choose what makes us happy, but you didn’t have to say yes to going on television with it, and also maybe now that you have you should think about stopping it! PLEASE, LISA! LISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Via Gawker.)