Eager-to-please British late-night host James Corden may have reached a new apex of jolly starfuckery. On last night’s episode of his Late Late Show, Corden recorded an endless 14-minute comedy bit backstage at a big Jingle Ball pop concert in Los Angeles. In the clip, Corden takes over as general manager of the Forum, which means he gets to mug frantically with people like Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, Demi Lovato, and former One Direction members Niall Horan and Liam Payne. This whole thing reaches its apex when Corden attempts to become a backup dancer for Taylor Swift. Watch the hilarity unfold below.

I’m terribly sorry, and I hate to tell you this, but if you laughed even once at this, you and I cannot be friends.