James Dolan, owner of the New York Knicks and collector of bad hats, has an idea. Dolan, who also owns Madison Square Garden, would very much like to get people back into his arena. So he’s written a New York Post op-ed outlining what he’d like to do. Dolan wants to stage a big benefit concert, as soon as possible, within the walls of Madison Square Garden. He thinks the way to do this is by testing prospective ticket-buyers for COVID-19 antibodies. Dolan’s reasoning is that, if you’ve already been exposed to the virus and developed an immunity, it should be safe for you to go to a big indoor concert with a bunch of other people who have also developed that antibody.

In the Post, amidst general platitudes about the strength of New York and the fragility of its economy, Dolan writes that two million New Yorkers have the COVID-19 antibodies and that they’d all be safe to attend this hypothetical show. Dolan writes:

For anyone who wanted to attend, the Garden would pay for antibody test beginning four weeks before the event. Those who pass will receive an antibody passport and be able to attend the show.

These test results would be shared with health agencies to add to the growing research into the coronavirus.

As we did with the 9/11 benefit show, The Concert for New York City, we would fill the floor with first responders and essential workers for free. All proceeds would go to COVID relief.

The concert would serve as an example of how we can resume our lives and stay safe. Fast-response testing and prescreened customers that do not need to distance are options to explore and test. We must have the will and desire to do so.

Our governments need to understand that the health of the city is not just measured by empty hospital beds. When we finally lift restrictions, how much of New York City will be left? How many more unemployed, homeless and shuttered businesses will there be? How many people will have permanently left the city? As of now, no one is coming here for Christmas.

There are some issues with this plan. For one thing, according to recent studies, COVID-19 is a brand-new disease, and scientists are still figuring out how it works. According to ABC News, recent studies show that antibodies can fade from the body in as little as two months. So all those immune people might not be so immune.

For another thing, James Dolan is famous for being one of the dumbest rich guys in America, and nobody should trust him to plan a toddler’s birthday party, let alone a massive all-star arena show in the midst of a pandemic. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with the NBA knows of Dolan’s catastrophic mismanagement of the Knicks, and he’s previously appeared on this site for booking his terrible blues-rock band to open for the Eagles. Dolan is a fatuous, egotistical, oblivious doof, and nobody should take his ideas seriously.