I will knock doors in the Arizona heat for Biden if he pledges to have Jack Dorsey waterboarded 5 times a day every day for the rest of his life

Fuck Dan Scavino. I hope that little Goebbels-wannabe gets a tapeworm and dies of dehydration from shitting his guts out.

Ideally silence

As of today, 1108 songs have hit the number one spot. Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It” was the 554th. It’s taken nearly 3 years, but Tom has finally reached the halfway point.

“OK, we’re back, and we have to tell you about an unusual situation that happened during the commercial break. Jamie Farr was called away suddenly, to do an emergency reshoot of a key scene on the set of AfterMASH. He promises to be back tomorrow, but in the meantime, we are being forced by the network legal department to complete the game. So, we had to go into our studio audience to find someone to come up here to the Winner’s Circle, and give the clues.”

“How are you feeling, sir?

“Hi, Dick. I’m, you know, a little nervous… but I think I’m good. Big fan, by the way, of Bloopers. Hey, wait – is this maybe one of your ‘Practical Joke’ segments?”

“Sadly, it is not. And now, over to our contestant. She’s an unregistered nurse from Surf City; let’s say hello to Jenny-Jenny Sharona. And with a name like that, I bet that you’ll be great at this game. Do you think you’ll be able to win big today?”

“Well… I mean, maybe… I… I don’t know this guy… Could we please just get LeVar Burton? Or, what about Vicki Lawrence? She has to be available… Did you even try?”

“No, I’m sorry. Too short of a notice. Anyway, let’s play! You have 60 seconds, and remember, you can only give her a list of things to fit the category. Here is your first subject… GO!”

“… OK… uh…’Personality’… Blue Öyster… um… Manson… QAnon…”

“Famous Cults!” {ding}

“…’Look, I’m sorry, but I have to write you up… Your productivity has been just dreadful – and for some reason, especially so on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…’ “

“Oh! ‘Things Your Boss Says!’ ” {ding}

“… Kim Jong-Un’s health status… Wardlow’s Billboard tabulations…”

“…Um… uhhh… Oh! ‘Things That Are Fake News!’ ” {ding}

“… Reddit, AIM, MySpace, LiveJournal… um, Etsy… Club Penguin…
…Mario’sParkwaySunoco&CarWash. com …“

“’Aha! ‘Websites With An Actual Edit Button!’ ” {ding}

“… (oh, geez… oh, man… um, um, uh… ) Propofol… uh, Chamomile tea… ASMR videos… PowerPoint presentations, right after lunch…

“Things that… that… er… I don’t know… um… uh…” {BZZZZ}

“Oh, I’m sorry…out of time. Not your fault at all. He was painfully slow with the clues. Sir, have you ever even watched this program? Well, hey, it’s not so bad; you did get three out of six. That’s good for a 12-pack of Rice-A-Roni, The San Francisco Treat™. Here, just for fun – don’t turn around yet, and let’s see if you could get that last one… if maybe, he had also said… ”

“a Friday mt58 bit…”

“Oh. Sure. Yep. Gotcha. ‘Things That Put You To Sleep.’ Yeah, you know, that would have done the trick, right there… Just great. Thanks so much for that.”

“And that’s all the time that we have today on, “The 25000 Upvote Pyramid.” Stay tuned to most of these TNOCS stations for, ‘Socially Distanced Days Of Our Lives.’ “

“Anything to say, pathetic guest-clue-giver, before we go?”

… Yes, that I truly appreciate the chance to have so much fun here with everyone. It always makes the week a little less of a slog, and I hope that it’s the same kind of experience for all of you.

Wishing everybody well, and hoping that you have a safe weekend. Please be careful, take good care of yourselves and each other…

… and good on you all.

Folks, I hope this whole incident inspires you to “Jump In The Line” and vote!

(we live in a dystopian nightmare)

Maybe god should tell him to shut the fuck up now.

I know Save Stereogum is hours away from deadline and it’s been hugely successful, but if we’ve learned anything over the last two weeks it’s that they could well have had even more backers if they’d been able to offer exclusive alternate shots from that Blue Hawaii photo session.

It shouldn’t be this rare to read a sincere and thoughtful apology for one’s past actions. Take note artists!

Imagine how amazing it must feel to never have to be accountable for anything.

Ok, now he should apologize for removing his bandmates’ writing credits behind their backs. He should apologize for changing the Speaking In Tongues art to one hia own pieces behind their backs while he’s at it.

His treatment of his fellow Talking Heads is much more reprehensible and speaks to a greater moral failing than his wearing of blackface.

This isn’t a deep fake.

Here’s some sacrilege. Rhye does everything Sade does but without the corny ass bs.

Ye is God

i guess “Kanye gives a surprisingly funny calm interview in which he repeats his recent talking points in a not particularly newsworthy way” didn’t quite have the same shine to it eh DeVille?

this shit too hard. album cover is sick asf fuck u