Long Winters’ John Roderick Dubbed “Bean Dad” After Viral Tweets About His Daughter
John Roderick, the leader of the indie rock group the Long Winters, has been dubbed “Bean Dad” by the internet after a tweet about teaching his daughter how to open a can of beans went viral. On Saturday evening, Roderick sent out a very long thread detailing his 9-year-old daughter’s alleged struggle with the functionality of a can opener.
“So, yesterday my daughter (9) was hungry and I was doing a jigsaw puzzle so I said over my shoulder “make some baked beans,'” the tweet thread begins. “She said, ‘How?’ like all kids do when they want YOU to do it, so I said, ‘Open a can and put it in pot.’ She brought me the can and said Open it how?'”
After many hours and a lot of finagling, the can was opened. The thread has become a lightning rod on Twitter, as threads are wont to do, with some saying it’s a fine way to teach your kid how to use a can opener and others wondering why he didn’t just open the damn can for her.
“With a can opener!” I said, incredulous. She brought me the can opener and we both stared at it. I realized I’d never taught her to use it. Most cans now have pull-tops. I felt like a dope. What kind of apocalypse father doesn’t teach his kid how to use a manual can opener?!?
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
I said, “The little device is designed to do one thing: open cans. Study the parts, study the can, figure out what the can-opener inventor was thinking when they tried to solve this problem.” (The can opener is also a bottle opener, but I explained that part wasn’t relevant.)
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
Eventually she collapsed in a frustrated heap. I said, “Explain the parts.” She said, “This little wheel is meant to cut, these gears turn the wheel when you spin the handle. This other wheel looks like a gear but isn’t.” She couldn’t figure out the clamping step, a key element!
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
I said, “The tool is made to be pleasing but it doesn’t have any superfluous qualities. Everything that moves does so for a reason.” She said, “I hate you.” I’m sure she believes that she does. I said, “You understand everything except how the tool addresses the can.” She sighed.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
At this point she said, “I don’t want baked beans” and marched off. Apocalypse Dad went into full ‘The Road’ Mode! “Sweetheart, neither of us will eat another bite today until we get into this can of beans.” She screamed “AUGH!” like Lucy Van Pelt. She read a book for awhile.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
Soon she was back at the can. The top was all dented now, the lip of the can practically serrated from failed attempts. We studied the tool some more. She really wanted it to be oriented up and down or across the top of the can. The sideways orientation is very counterintuitive.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
Eventually she had it all figured out. She had the placement of the tool, she could turn the handle and the can would spin (we were down on the floor by this point), but the “kachunk” of puncturing the lid still eluded us. We’d been at it for SIX HOURS on and off. We were hungry.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
Finally she squeezed down on it and, although it was a misfire, a light went off in her head. Many times throughout the day she’d yelled at me, “My brain is fuzzy! I can’t think of anything else to try!!!” and I’d say, “When your brain doesn’t work, trust your hands.”
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
She felt the tool click over the lip of the can. I saw it in her hands. By this point she’d developed a little ritual of addressing the tool to the can: starting with it on a vertical axis and rotating it to the horizontal while clamping down in a single motion. A choreography.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
She looked at me expectantly, excitedly. After six hours of trying you don’t want to express too much hope. Was this another blind alley? The can had been through hell, label ripped off, dented, sharpened and burred, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars. She knew, though.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
She knew this was a commonplace task and a common tool but also that this was serious business. She knows her dad, and the stock I put in these things. A more mechanically inclined kid might have figured it out in minutes. She factored the scale, but was rightfully proud.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
I’m proud of her too. I know I’m infuriating. I know this is parenting theater in some ways. I suffer from a lack of perseverance myself, and like all parents throughout history I’m trying to correct my own mistakes in the way I educate my child. She sees through this.
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
The only problem is now she wants to open every fucking can in the house!
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 2, 2021
Roderick seems to be taking his newfound fame in stride:
Somebody had to start the year off with a bang!
— john roderick (@johnroderick) January 3, 2021
The Long Winters haven’t released an album since 2006. Nowadays, Roderick mostly hosts podcasts, including Omnibus with Jeopardy! champ Ken Jennings.
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UPDATE: Roderick deleted his Twitter account on Sunday after old tweets using racist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic language were dug up. The podcast My Brother, My Brother, & Me — which used a song that Roderick wrote for its theme music — announced that they would no longer be using Roderick’s music on the show.
We appreciate John letting us use one of his songs as the theme for MBMBaM for nearly a decade, but his response to today’s situation is emblematic of a pattern of behavior that is antithetical to the energy we try to bring to the things we do, and so it’s time for us to move on.
— MBMBaM (@MBMBaM) January 3, 2021
Here’s the full tweet thread for posterity’s sake:
In case you missed Bean Dad aka john roderick before he deleted his Twitter account, this is what started it all. pic.twitter.com/KCKRP3099c
— ManiacalV (ColinT) (@ManiacalV) January 3, 2021
His podcast co-host Ken Jennings has been defending Roderick on Twitter.