Doesn’t matter how you feel about this song, this whole thing just rules

The worst thing about the “real Delilah” story is that this song reduces her, a highly accomplished professional athlete, to a girl who’s just pretty and seemingly has no skills (“I’ll pay the bills with my guitar”). It’s bad enough that he wrote a song for a girl who wasn’t into him, but the song isn’t even about her, it’s about himself and his generic fantasy he inserted her into. And the real story could have been a much better song! Unrequited love for a distance runner has so many unused lyrical possibilities.

🎶 Hey there Delilah… a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars 🎶

Guy That Just Waked 500 Miles and 500 More: they have what

— not brendan (@crocodilethumbs) December 15, 2019

“Umbrella” is an all-time pop star level-up moment. It’s the sound of a superstar elbowing their way to the top, and making it clear they’re there to stay. It dominated that summer, and was still hard to miss when I returned to college in the fall. Whether or not it’s your favorite Rihanna song, its impact was immediate. I remember listening to it for the first time and being just gobsmacked by Rihanna’s command and charisma. It still resonates like that. A true opening salvo of an imperial phase. It’s a 10/10 for me.

I heard Drake once ordered a hit and his ghostwriter showed up.

M.I.A.: Kala.

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Her debut was a fresh and fun blend of disparate styles, but on her follow-up, M.I.A. really stepped up her game. I’ve long said that conceptually she was like the Public Enemy of the 00s, voicing our fears of a globalized planet. On Kala, she actually came armed with beats and sound collages worthy of the Bomb Squad. 

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The tracks on Kala are loud, proud, and joyously irreverent. Many sport brash and clattering beats, and a heady clash of cultural signifiers.The hooks are sampled from all and sundry: The Pixies, Bollywood, Black Sheep, Blaqstarr, the Modern Lovers…chickens, whatever. Maybe this is the jubilant chaos that Bjork was trying to capture on Volta? Well, it actually works here! 

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And of course there’s M.I.A.’s biggest hit on Kala, the main reason why most of the world knows her. “Paper Planes” is a diasporic crime narrative set to the tune of The Clash’s “Straight to Hell” and some ear-grabbing sound effects. It’s still a jam, and a much needed break from the surrounding sonic barrage. 

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As great as most of Kala is, it could be improved with a track or two removed. “Mango Pickle” is cute but it runs too long, as does “Come Around” with Timbaland. Both of them would have been fine as B-sides. Otherwise, it’s a solid ride that’s absolutely jam-packed with compelling sounds and ideas.

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We all know the paranoia that eventually emerged in MIA’s demeanor. There are probably some of those seeds planted here. But listening to Kala, it really just sounds like the sky was the limit. Here was an exciting new talent throwing down the gauntlet, and daring the rest of the world to top her. For a time, no one could.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kq16GAuNcg

Courtesy of the We Miss Our TNOCS Friends Department, I wanted to give everyone an update on our pal Rabbits Rabbits. He’s okay! He’s had some rough family business to attend to — the same family business that all of us will have to attend to, if we’re lucky, horribly enough — and is still dealing with the fallout of that about as well as any of us can expect to. But I took him to see his beloved Bruce Springsteen on Monday, and he was maybe the happiest I’ve ever seen him in the decade-plus we’ve been friends. He may not be here these days, but he’s still, in his words when I asked what he was doing the night of the show, “Being gay, living life.”

Were you one of the passengers on the plane on ‘Lost’??? 😉

The illusion that everyone else’s “hands are tied” kind of got shattered here. Hopefully many more acts place this kind of pressure on them going forward.

Music Zirconia is the greatest possible name for a cover band booking agency. Full stop.