Right now, my entire timeline is flooded with election-fraud jokes — people doing bits about voting 12 times, throwing out ballots from Republican districts, and registering all their dead immigrant relatives. People love those jokes, and they especially love when global pop stars make those jokes. Yesterday, Rihanna posted an Instagram video with the caption “when protecting pussies and firing pussies can happen all in one vote #votecauseicant #TanSuitSeason.” The video is just a 13-second clip of her staring out a window, with these words onscreen: “POV: me trying to sneak into the polls with my son’s passport.”

when protecting pussies and firing pussies can happen all in one vote #votecauseicant #TanSuitSeason pic.twitter.com/QVQh2w35zR

— Rihanna (@rihanna) November 4, 2024

Rihanna is a native of Barbados, and I guess she’s never gotten American citizenship, so she can’t vote in today’s American election. It seems very unlikely that she will sneak into any polling places with the passport of her son RZA, who is two years old and thus too young to vote. Nevertheless, plenty of people evidently got pissy in Rihanna’s Instagram comments, and that temporarily brought out the old Rihanna. The star revived her old practice of clapping back at randos. Rihanna’s responses include the following lines:

“shut up Karen”

“lol! When yall stop burning ballot boxes come check me”

“you’re fucked! And so is the America you dream of. Hope you don’t have to find out the hard way”

“Where were you in Jan 6 sis? Stick to your discounted crotch. We out here fighting for its rights!”

“I LOVE my Bajan passport! I came here to work and pay taxes! You’re welcome”

Rihanna responds to upset commenters on her post joking about sneaking into the polls to vote:

“you're f**ked! And so is the America you dream of. Hope you don't have to find out the hard way” pic.twitter.com/tqqghGYibJ

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) November 5, 2024

In relatively calm get-out-the-vote news, Rihanna’s pop-star peer Beyoncé, who spoke at a recent Kamala Harris rally in Houston, has shared a brief video for her very good Cowboy Carter song “Bodyguard.” The clip features Beyoncé posing, for whatever reason, as Pamela Anderson in various famous moments — on Baywatch, in Barb Wire, at the VMAs that one time. It’s got her smoking a cigarette in a way that suggests that she has never smoked a cigarette in her entire life. It’s also got her holding up one of those toy guns with the flag, but this one says “vote” instead of “bang.”