Comments

Was gonna do my whole intro about how happy I am to see this random-ass shit going viral, but then that Scorpion King joke popped into my head and I couldn't *not* use it, you know?
9-year-olds take a lot of pills tho.
If you think I was under any instruction to generate pageviews by writing about fuckin Kid Rock, then you *really* don't understand how this media shit works. I just like what I like is all.
https://twitter.com/tombreihan/status/1030491912665481217
"act naturally" is a great song.
Diana Ross was 21. Roger McGuinn was 23. Peter Noone was 17.
The Gentrys' singer, it's worth pointing out, was a future hall-of-fame wrestling manager, the Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart.
I'd guess that it's gotten slightly older. Whole lotta teenagers were hitting in the '50s and '60s. Ages of this year's #1 artists have been: 26, 20, 31, 31, 34, 23, 20 but dead, 25, and 31. Whereas the singer on tomorrow's entry was 16.
Barry McGuire was 30, one year younger than the person who has the #1 song in America right now.
I'm already in the process of writing about 1,077 songs (and counting)! You want me to write about *another* song?!?
Damn you are *not* gonna like what I have to say about "Harper Valley PTA."
Have always been confused about how the tambourine man is supposed to play a song. Like how do you play an entire song on the tambourine? (Did not see fit to include this trenchant insight in the story.)
I really like that album! That's the goofy part. There's just all this stuff in it that I hate and that I feel compelled to point out. Had this whole riff on the Travis/Mike Dean connection, the one strong line between Houston rap history and Travis himself, that I meant to include and totally forgot about when I was writing this. I'd love to know more about their working relationship.
good call, enforced fuckin rule
Nah, actually, I'm judging them against every other #1 song ever, with no regard for the rest of the artist's catalog. And I think this song is just OK. (Thanks for the defense tho.)
Should've honestly include this in Furious Five: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geMIRS9NVlU Made my kids lose their minds in the theater.
we're all good, bud.
Ain't getting no book deal on this. Have been told that people don't buy books of things that were already free on the internet.
The whole Motown approach, taking talented kids and then drilling the fuck out of them, is pretty much exactly what the different K-pop agencies are doing in South Korea, except now they make them learn different languages too.
This one, baby! Have fun being a piece of shit!
I think Tony Molina is better at short songs than Tierra Whack. This is not a popular opinion, but that's where I am.
My bad I should've called you "piece of shit."
the ketamine might've been subtle, but this dude wasn't.
These are both great! I'll put them into contention for next week.
I think it's a really great song, but I'm trying to save those upper reaches for the truly exceptional. That's kinda hard during that period, since *so much* of what hit #1 is so amazing. But I can't spam those big numbers too hard or it won't mean as much when something really does reach it.
Step stools are extremely relevant because they're some shit you don't see and regularly trip over.
both of these videos are great, and i didn't know about either of them.
holy shit, let's get back to this not being a thing.
Even if you were a committed folk or blues listener! Folk and blues didn't sound like *that*.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU2mn_S0kls
This is fair. If anything, he's SC-adjacent. Was iffy on putting Rich the Kid on the list for the same reason, since he's more of a regular Atlanta trap guy. But I do think their fans' ability to ignore those accusations is part of that same story.
Beats digging ditches.
When this came out, I was like, "Damn, Nas listens to Cannibal Ox." This was the correct response.
buddy. you know how nice it would've been to *not* write about this shit today?
The sad part is that no, they're not, not necessarily. He has a great many fans who might very well make her life hell.
If there was an artist who could fuse all these genres, with energy and inventiveness and emotional force, without rapping about how his little emo bitch like her wrists slit, then yes, I would've been all over it. Thought about going into the idea that the creativity wouldn't exist without the toxic impulses but this piece was already fucking long enough.