Have you guys read the story of the woman who successfully gave herself a cesarean with a kitchen knife? Fun read! http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2004-04-07-self-caesarean_x.htm?csp=34
Growing up my brother was always my mom's clear favorite. I never understood why and this lead to some obvious friction. A few years ago my aunts told me about the different kinds of labor she experienced. My brother was born a tiny baby, in 7 months while I was born a huge baby in 9 1/2. I was also born with hair and, more to the point, teeth. I guess I was taking so much calcium from her that she took months to recover. Anyways, who wants to have my baby?
A while ago I was at White Castle and two homeless dudes started fighting with each other. I was around 12 at the time so you'd think I would have been scared but they were so slow and unenthusiastic that it was more mesmerizing than anything.
Woops, I got a new dog. http://i.imgur.com/B7NHDPe.jpg This is definitively my last pet unless one of them dies, though. Two dogs and two cats is dangerously bordering on hoarder territory.
I think I've said this story before on this same column before, but what the heck. When I was a kid my dad had birds of prey that he would keep in the backyard. He used to tell me that he caught them with the same method used to catch that cat from #5. My mom would then be waiting with a burlap sack for him to grab them by the feet. I believed him right up until a few years ago when he finally confessed that he got them from a bird of prey dealer. He also just confessed to my mom that the time he "took me fishing" he just took me to buy a ridiculous amount of fishing gear, drove around looking for a place to fish, then went to the live fish market and bought bass that sat in our freezer for months. The picture of us holding our fish (my dad holding his up by the head with the tails up) is still hanging in my parents living room.
Oh man, this week. At least I'm going to have some of this tonight. You know what they say, if it Kwaks like a duck. http://i.imgur.com/8o10yTO.jpg WIsh you were beer, guys.
I actually have really liked the past 3 episodes of Community. They have used tropes on tropes on tropes but I feel they're using them as tools to tell the group's story more instead of just Scary Movie'ing references for the sake of it. I don't know, Maybe I'm wrong but I'm liking these past few episodes more than last season.
I'm starting to read Steph's novel tonight.
http://j.mp/ZqxsgF
Also, OG monster, Clove had a pretty good Vine
https://twitter.com/clove/status/329998154361602048
My 11 year old cat needs teeth removing surgery that will run me 750 on top of her vet visits. On top of that I have to buy her expensive food because her stomach is super sensitive (term via WebMD). I thought about placing her in "care" for like 1 10000th of a second but then I resolved to stop buying 12$ beer every day instead. Hashtag: responsible pet ownership. Hashtag: hello, bud light.
Here's a picture of Canela enjoying the warm weather. http://i.imgur.com/oiHMAno.jpg
I'm one of those people who is able to draw stuff in a life-like manner in a matter of seconds, even without practice, but I was just never into it. I just never really understood art. I would rather spend 5 minutes making a steve winwood photoshop and have people laff at it for a microsecond then forget it forever than take an hour and try to make some type of contrived statement. It just feels dishonest. See even this statement feels full of itself.
Also, I love music, but ironically I suck at music. I hear what I want to create in my head but it's just a teeth-pulling process for me to arrange the smallest composition the way I want it.
Speaking of unusual punk rock, have yous guys seen the trailer for the band Death movie?
I guess decades before the grind-metal band and years before the Ramones, there were this 3 black brothers from Detroit who played proto-punk but they were kind of forgotten until recently. I know I've never heard of them until this link:
http://stereogum.com/1271602/death-politicans-in-my-eyes-demo-stereogum-premiere/mp3s/
Anyway, it looks interesting, and if this is the start of the punk movement instead of the stooges or IDK, then it's kind of weird that they never got credit for it.
I know twitter has negative connotations regarding our attention span, grammar, spelling, self-obsession and absurdity BUT... I was thinking about the hashtag and I think it's a pretty cool addition to the language. I mean, it is absurd but is there a similar tool already in place? I can't think of one. Why don't we use it more unironically? Why? Why not?
Hashtag: caffeine-induced questions.
Speaking as the brother of someone who falsely claim to be Native American, I was planning on boycotting this movie, but then the trailer showed a magical horse. Hashtag: conflicted.
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