I get the weirdest feeling that if I knew Ricky Gervais socially, we would either be frenemies, or he would have a huge man-crush on me and I would have to actively avoid him.
When I was in elementary school, I played Mario in a short movie my friends and I made called, "The Mario Massacre". The premise was that my friends were playing SMB, and when I (Mario) died in the game, I came into their world to exact revenge on them for killing me. It was pretty sloppy VHS videomaking, but the highlight was the sequence where I ate a dandelion while laughing maniacally, and then I threw a huge balled up wad of burning newspapers at them. I think the movie ended with one of them hitting me with a box turtle, but that sounds too clever to be right.
The video stopped loading after about 41 seconds, but I think I could have gone the distance, mainly because of the cleavage on the top row, second from the left.
"She immediately called her neighbor Christina, saying, "You got to see this. This shit is hilarious." After tweeting several pics and making a video of herself taunting the victim, Christina called police.
Come on, it's literally been hours since the movie came out. You can't expect her to keep the lid on these things for so long. We should have a rule: if something has been out for more than half a day, it's fair game.
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