I think this year is going to top all others when it comes to annoying, topical costumes. Dead celebrities, Kate's [awesome!] hair, Lady Gaga's bloody eyeball, Kanye's alcohol problem, crazy Heene, Polanski handing out quaaludes. I even know someone going as Flo from those Progressive commercials. 2012 cannot come soon enough is all I'm saying.
Ok wait a tick. Some of these are not following the lines of homophobia. Wouldn't it be more like, "I have a secret plan to kill Hitler...as long as he's gay"? I'm just trying to be fair to Tom's true sentiments. Plus, Hitler WAS gay.
In that same vein, the movie's tagline maybe should've been, "Just remember: There is no God." King=god and all that. Which I personally think is a necessary message to get out to the children.
I'm really jealous of you guys for having actual living, breathing children at your showing. There was literally one child at my packed theater and it was actually a baby and it actually cried the entire time. Yes, "it."
I'm not sure why I'm pointing this out but...this is especially disappointing (aside from the obvious reasons) because this means that The Simpsons is stooping to Family Guy level. That show has creepily sexualized Lois from the beginning, showing her in her skivvies and sexualizing her in a way cartoons shouldn't be sexualized, and now The Simpsons can't be like, "Well, at least we don't do THAT." YOU DO DO THAT. And it can't be undone.
I don't get the assertion that it's not a movie for kids. Any kids who left the theater crying are pussified! No, but really--just because the humor was adult and some parts were dark, I can't imagine kids wouldn't find this movie visually amazing. For example, the wolf in Neverending Story scared the shit out of me, but it didn't stop me from loving everything about that movie--it was like nothing I had seen and I imagine WTWTA will be like that for this generation. Sometimes kids like to be a little scared.
While I did find the portrayal of the violence of childhood disturbing, some scenes really touched me. This is probably Eggers's doing--the scene where Max is tugging at his mom's stockings on her feet was sort of amazing. When he tells her the story and she types it, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of the scene. This may be because I have a dead mom but I thought those moments were very well done and unlike a lot of portrayals of mother-child relationships in movies.
And Lauren Ambrose has just about the most comforting voice I've ever heard in my life. READ ME BEDTIME STORIES PLEASE.
The only reality show I'd be on is Real World/Road Rules Challenge; have you seen how much alcohol and also sex those people get? I already have the lack of dignity part down since I admitted to watching The View. (You guys thought I was kidding. Shit just got real.)
I realized about two minutes in that I actually stopped breathing while watching the beginning because it was that uncomfortable. There should really be some sort of warning--one creature already had to die for the making of this thing.
I've got something to say! Isn't it odd how everyone pretty much knows this guy is full of shit and this is NOT AT ALL how a normal person would react to this situation (ya know, when normal people build space-craft-like balloons that their children may or may not accidentally fly off in) but everyone is too polite to say it? Even the reporters are all, "Well, I have to ask but, like, I still totally believe you, Mr. Heene, because no one in their right mind...oh, wait." Maybe we should all just live in the world of Ricky Gervais's imaginings. "Paula Abdul--go to rehab, you drug addict. Creepy Heene, you're a lying sociopath--jail! Lady Gaga, we get it, you like attention, now would you please calm down? Topher Grace, we're keeping an eye on you."
I enjoy the way he saunters in for the second video. "Hello everybody. It's me, Shane Lee." True performer. I mean, the singing and crazy eyes (sorry because that's actually true) could use some work, but the intro? He's got it down.
"We can still do this! Let's paint, exercise, and be in California for a few days." There is a "we" and there is an implied "us." Does this mean that you will or will not be OK with all of us showing up at your hotel room door in about six hours (assuming everyone also lives in New York and/or has a time machine...in which case, they'd probably have just ridden with you on the plane over)?
Oh, sorry. That made me sound like a huge asshole. I got tickets to a free screening at the NY theater on 3rd Avenue a few months ago. I get really excited about free things and also movie things, so I'm still riding the high from that one. Anyway, the movie was really funny and he was actually pretty amazing in it. I didn't know if he could pull off being a French badass but he did it, and I was actually sort of attracted to him for a minute! Such a weird feeling. Anyway, Jess still wins because of Adventureland.
The only time I've seen Cera with range was in Youth in Revolt, and I'm pretty sure that's only because he had a fake mustache on and smoked cigarettes. (I'm easily impressed.) I think I like Eisenberg more because, as you can see in the clip, he's not really faking the awkward, anxious act and I always sort of assume Cera has the potential to be kind of an asshole. (I have no actual facts to back up this assertion.)
This is unrelated but I'd like to note that when people ask me where I was during Kanye's most important award show interruption (because this will definitely still be important long after...um...four days ago), I will be able to say, proudly, "Commenting with my pals on Videogum." And whoever asked will be creeped out by my use of "pals" and so will I, really. But anyway, I think we all deserve an honorable mention this week for watching the VMAs in real time. (Nobody cares.)
This would have been more effective had Kanye's entire monologue been in caps. Bygones. Otherwise, I kind of like this Kanye--if the guy were this self-aware, the world would probably explode. In a good way, I think? I like him.
Well, this was a good excuse to listen to "Lip Gloss" again under the guise of research for supreme pop-culture blog understanding. "I started to feel [it], and I started to feel myself. I just felt the energy, and I got up and started walking to the stage." Exactly.
It's probably for the best that we're sober. This emotional roller coaster plus alcohol could've easily led to a crying-in-fetal-position situation. You know what I'm talking about.
Listen, I'm not here to hate on Sears. Maybe Kanye will do that after the next commercial break. He's very passionate about white suburban teenagers and their available fashion choices.
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