Scott Weiland’s Christmas tour started last night at the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles, and some brave soul caught a few minutes of Weiland butchering “Winter Wonderland” on tape. Visually, it’s what you’d expect: Weiland, nattily dressed, doing the inverted-eyebrows lounge-singer thing while an implausibly large band swings away behind him. There’s a Christmas tree at the back of the stage, and Christmas lights wrap around the mic stand. So far, so whatever.
But then, we’re forced to get into the scary business of Weiland’s vocals. The man forgets the words at least a few times — lyrics to a song that everyone knows, mind you — and he’s got the timing of someone’s drunk supervisor at an office karaoke party. If someone had used this exact same version of “Winter Wonderland” to try out for American Idol, it would’ve made the laugh-at-these-fucks blooper-audition reel. Behold the carnage below.