The Alternative Number Ones: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ “The Impression That I Get”

In The Alternative Number Ones, I’m reviewing every #1 single in the history of the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks/Alternative Songs, starting with the moment that the chart launched in 1988. This column is a companion piece to The Number Ones. The column is now biweekly, alternating with The Number Ones on Mondays.

My high school punk band played a grand total of two shows, both in spring 1997. The first was at a talent show at my friend's school, and we named ourselves American Standard, after the company that made urinals. But then we found out that there was already a New York hardcore band called American Standard, so we became American Substandard for the second show, in a buddy's backyard. I think we had three or four originals, one of which was about my friend Nat's crush on Suddenly Susan-era Brooke Shields. We also did covers — Operation Ivy, Youth Brigade, like four Misfits songs. We had more Misfits covers than originals. That was the vibe.

I say "we," but my own status within the group was a matter of some debate. I didn't play any instruments, though I could kind of fill in on the drums at practice when the drummer didn't show up. I didn't sing, except for the one song where nobody wrote lyrics so I just bellowed gibberish in a death metal Cookie Monster voice. I was only there to jump around while my friends made the actual music. I was the Dancing Bosstone. That was my job title.