‘Tis the season! We’ve set up our inflatable moonmen in the front yard, decked the halls with anacondas, pulled the hammer-shaped cookies from the oven, and donned our most festive bulletproof vests. Now let’s gather around our televisions and/or laptop screens for MTV’s 31st annual Video Music Awards, live from the Forum in Inglewood.

Together we’ll discover the answers to such questions as: Which Video Of The Year candidate will join the semi-distinguished company of Sinead O’Connor, Jamiroquai, and Panic! At The Disco? Will Weird Al be there with one of Grimes’ dancers in his posse? Will Beyoncé’s lengthy medley in honor of her Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award feel as gratuitous as the sitcom-length marathon the show devoted to Justin Timberlake last year? Most importantly, will we see anything nearly as memorable as 2013’s notorious Robin Thicke/Miley Cyrus shitshow? Well OK, there’s also this important matter:

more important than performances or awards is who will Rihanna give that goddess level side eye shade to

— ernest baker (@ernestbaker) August 24, 2014

Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj will kick things off with a run through “Bang Bang” at 9PM EST. Other performers include Taylor Swift, Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora, Sam Smith, Usher, 5 Seconds Of Summer, and Maroon 5. Fifth Harmony and Charli XCX will also rock the preshow. Some of this year’s more notable presenters: Gwen Stefani, Lorde, Trey Songz, Laverne Cox, and Mrs. Kanye West herself. Your Stereogum staff will be here chatting about the zany hijinks and high drama all night long, so ride your surfboard into the comments section and join us.