Absurdist rap entity Riff Raff famously squired Katy Perry to the VMAs last year, and today, we have to ask: How much did she pay him? Because Riff Raff is not going to date anyone for free. As SPIN points out, Riff announced a splendid new moneymaking scheme/publicity stunt on Instagram yesterday: He will take you to your prom for the low, low price of $28,000. He’ll include all sorts of extras besides his glorious presence: Limo, hotel suite, freestyle video, the honor of being all over his Instagram. Riff’s one requirement: You have to be at least 18. At this point, I feel like James Franco would do it, in full Spring Breakers regalia, for less money, just to fuck with Riff. Here’s Riff Raff’s pitch:

PULL UP TO YOUR PROM iN A LAMBORGHiNi WiTH JODY HiGHROLLER FOR $28,000 MUST BE 18+ BOOKiNG: CLewisGroup@Caa.com

A photo posted by RiFF RaFF JODY HiGHROLLER (@jodyhighroller) on Jan 11, 2015 at 1:38pm PST

Hulk Hogan is also apparently training Riff Raff to be a pro wrestler, so that’s a thing.