We have a bunch of not-for-me trailers to get to after the jump, but while we’re here I also want to mention two things: the House of Cards season two trailer is here, and it looks great! I CAN’T WAIT FOR THAT SHOW TO COME BACK! Also, Rashida Jones, James Franco, and also other people make cameos in the trailer for Gary Shteyngart’s upcoming memoir, Little Failure, and it’s a real treat! Two treats! Okay, now let’s watch the movie trailers, I don’t really like any of them!

Tokarev

Hey, it’s the new Taylor Swift-type character from Nashville! It’s funny how at the beginning of Nashville I bet they figured Juliette Barnes would be the Taylor Swift-type character, but now times have changed and Taylor Swift has changed and they had to introduce a whole new character to be the Taylor Swift-type character. Hah. Ahhh. Nashville. The best. Can you believe that guy is going to kill himself and also the mayor’s new wife is probably dead?! (PS: “Bury the hurt” is def good advice and I don’t know why it caused anything other than happiness.) (PPS: “We swore not to talk about it! RAAAH!”)

Edge of Tomorrow

“What if a video game was a Groundhog Day movie, + Moon, and a little bit Eternal Sunshine?” It certainly looks like the type of movie that Tom Cruise does these days! I will give it that!

Godzilla

This actually does look great. Scary in a way that most Godzilla movies aren’t, and scary in a way that more Godzilla movies should be. (Though I didn’t hear ANY Wallflowers in the trailer, which could be a mistake!!) Also Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, David Strathairn, and Bryan Cranston?! Give me a break!

Jupiter Ascending

Every girl’s dream!

Bad Words

I don’t know about this movie, and I don’t know about Jason Bateman as this character, but I do know that THAT LITTLE BOY IS SO SWEET! Man oh man! What a damn cutie!