I hate to throw things out of whack for you guys, but we’re going to watch these movie trailers today because I’m not going to be here tomorrow. Are you okay? Are your heads still on? (Are your heads going to be on later when we end Thursday with a Monsters Ball?) If not, please refasten your head to your body and let’s get it going with these #TRAILERS! (Also you need it on to eat lunch!) Maleficent, you guys! Come on!

Maleficent

“Then you’ll be afraid,” of what? Your beautiful face?! JUST COME OUT AND GIVE IT TO ME! Obviously and unfortunately, this is just a teaser trailer, but consider me teased! Elle Fanning is beautiful, Angeline Jolie is beautiful, she’s wearing her scary hat. Looks Maleficent to me!

Tar

First, I think we need to think of a new way of demonstrating that a person is easily distracted rather than describing them as being easily pulled away by “shiny” things. They’re still adult humans! Come on, Mila Kunis! This movie — a biopic of C.K. Williams told through a few of his poems — was co-written and directed by twelve NYU students, and seems like James Franco’s favorite movie. If only someone else could have starred in it, so James Franco would be able to just get some popcorn and enjoy it. Oh well. That is James Franco’s burden, I guess.

Noah

Why doesn’t God flood the world again? Has He forgotten about us? Does He not care enough about us to flood the world again and give humans another chance?! This movie looks like it is going to be beautiful. That shot with the feet? Give me a break with that shot it was so beautiful! I’m sure it’s going to be good. Right now the trailer doesn’t look as dark or tortured or upsetting as I was hoping it would look, and actually it kind of seemed a little boring, but whatever. I’m sure it will be good. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!