Guh, I hate windows. Don’t you wish all of the windows in your house could be TV screens? That way instead of having to look outside, you could look at whatever you wanted! A candle melting, people knitting, salmon fishing, better trees than the ones outside, dirt blowing, etc. And don’t you wish, instead of your house, the whole thing could be a screen? Like a screensaver version of a house? That way you wouldn’t have to look at your disgusting real house. And don’t you wish, instead of outside, it were a screen that your phone could interact with, kind of like your TV and a WiiU controller? You’d never have to interact with the gross real world you exist within ever again. Ugh. What a dream! I almost hate even thinking about it because it makes me want it so bad, but it looks like TV might be on its way to giving us part of what we want! (Wait, the thing we wanted was 100 hours of knitting on TV, right?) From The Hollywood Reporter:

Norwegian broadcaster NRK’s Slow TV, which most recently aired a record breaking 134 hour non-stop transmission following a ship’s journey along the Norwegian coast minute by minute, has found a U.S. remake home in LMNO Productions.

LMNO Productions, the banner known for I Get that a Lot and The Little Couple, has picked up the rights to remake a U.S. version and is expected to put its own spin on the format to “take it to the cultural heartbeat of the U.S. nation.”

Ooh, tell me more!

NRK head of format development Ole Hedemann said: “First we saw a seven-hour train ride, then a five-day live cruise, 18 hours of live salmon fishing and after that 12 hours of live wood burning. Now, this autumn we are about to show live knitting. Slow TV is a brave idea. The concept behind it is unique and hypnotic, and it has a way of mesmerizing viewers. After its massive success in Norway, we are really excited to see LMNO Productions remake a U..S version.”

Listen. I understand wanting to watch beautiful things, and I understand having beautiful things on in the background. I tune into the Yule Log on Christmas, if it’s on. I watch two- or three-minute videos of beautiful places that I’ll probably never visit. But, ah, you know…I think it’s okay not to look at TV? Just, if you don’t want to watch TV. And it sounds like you don’t want to watch TV. You can do anything! Go to a park! Go on a real train ride! LOOK AT A BOOK! Look at your wall and think about all of the mistakes you’ve made and how you could have handled those situations better and what your life might be like if you did, but you DON’T HAVE TO WATCH PEOPLE KNITTING ON YOUR TELEVISION, I PROMISE YOU! Look at your own reflection in a mirror! Do anything! Get a dog and watch that dumb old guy run around! REAL LIFE IS OUT THERE! LOOK AT A LEAF!!!! (Via Defamer.)